There's an old saying, attributed to various people with various levels of certainty, that states "Predictions are hard to make, especially about the future." While that's certainly true, it hasn't stopped people from trying to do that, including those of us in the news/commentary business. But here's the thing about predictions: A lot of them are either so vague as to allow the predictor to claim they were correct no matter how things turn out, or they predict something that's so staggeringly obvious that anyone who hears or reads them thinks, "Well, duh." This is known as belaboring the obvious.
So, when a group of Andean shamans from Peru makes some predictions for 2026, it's not surprising that they are a little bit of both.
A group of shamans gathered Monday by the sea in the Miraflores district of Peru’s capital, Lima, to carry out an annual ritual in which they make predictions for the upcoming year.
Dressed in traditional Andean ponchos and headdresses, the group performed a ceremony, and made predictions about the course of international relations, ongoing conflicts and the fate of world leaders.
In this year’s event, the shamans said that Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro will be removed from office, and added that global conflicts, like the war in Ukraine will continue.
“We have asked for Maduro to leave, to retire, for President Donald Trump of the United States to be able to remove him, and we have visualized that next year this will happen,” said shaman Ana María Simeón.
Wait, did they ask for Maduro to leave, or did they predict he would leave? Granted, El Presidente Maduro is a pretty odious guy, and plenty of people, many of whom live in Venezuela, would love to see him depart that country for Russia, or China, or whatever country might take him in. There are also probably plenty of people who would prefer to see him shuffle off the mortal coil altogether, for that matter. But it doesn't take a massive amount of prescience to predict that, yes, El Presidente Maduro may be leaving Caracas suddenly at some point in 2026. But then, these are the people who predicted a nuclear war between Israel and Hamas last year.
They didn't offer any insight into the American 2026 midterm elections, although they may be able to predict that within the same margin of error as American pollsters right now.
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Here's the interesting part:
Before Monday’s ceremony, the shamans met to drink hallucinogenic concoctions derived from native plants — including Ayahuasca and the San Pedro cactus — which are believed to give them the power to predict the future.
You don't say.
The prophecy business, clearly, isn't for everyone. But there are a few key things to do to ensure success in this game: Keep your predictions vague, stick to details only when they are already painfully obvious, and if you're ingesting "hallucinogenic concoctions derived from native plants," make sure your audience gets some, too; it will make the predictions seem a lot more credible if the people you are offering predictions to are likewise in an altered state.
Of course, this gathering of Peruvian shamans has probably been going on for a long, long time. It's clearly a part of the annual cycle of culture in that part of the world. That's fine. But personally, I'll take their prognostications with a railroad hopper car full of salt.
Editor's Note: President Trump is leading America into the "Golden Age" as Democrats try desperately to stop it.
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