Why Stop at Canada and Greenland? Extend the American Empire!

With Donald Trump's inauguration only a matter of hours away now, political leaders in places like Greenland and Canada are all no doubt mulling over the president-elect's claims to want to either purchase or just annex those places with some mixture of trepidation and anticipation. Granted, I'm almost certain that President-elect Trump's statements here are the beginnings of negotiating positions, but there's always the chance that he's serious - at least, about Greenland.

Operating under the principle of "go big or go home," over at the American Thinker one "Nodrog Snave" - a humorous nom de plume, I feel certain, as this is "Gordon Evans" spelled out backward - is making the case of extending the offer of being Americans much wider. He has some criteria nations or regions would have to meet. So do I. First, Mr. "Snave:"

However, let’s take seriously Trump’s focus on Canada, Greenland, and Panama. First, the obvious points:
1. America wouldn’t want wimpy Canada until it proves it isn’t a clone of California and has no debt.
2. Greenland can make a choice, and Denmark will probably cooperate...for a fee.
3. Panama is just the reversal of a very bad Democrat decision. There are likely a lot of those coming over the next four years.
4. The Gulf of America? Why not?

Those are the beginnings; although, when considering a "fee" for Greenland, I would invoke the classical caution about the wisdom of paying the Danegeld. But as for the rest of the world:

America should offer to the world the chance to be part of America—part of the winning team—but its not an easy membership. The countries would have to adopt the American Bill of Rights and the United States Constitution as the starting point.
There would be other criteria: No or negligible debt, Judeo-Christian sensibilities, probably English speaking (or willing to make it the second language), accepting the US Dollar, and withdrawing from the UN, WHO, EU, and all corrupt world organizations. (The U.S. should do all of these things, too.)
A nation would apply for US constitutional status, and the American people would decide. No lobbyists or backroom deals. It would all be out in the open. The status “awaiting approval” would give the country security and American protection during the process. That is, threats to these nations would be dealt with harshly by America, not necessarily militarily, but not something anyone would want to try.

Yeah, that seems a good start, although I'm not sure how you'd measure the second requirement, for Judeo-Christian sensibilities. But I'd add some requirements to that list.

UPDATE: House Bill Introduced Authorizing Trump to Negotiate With Denmark for Greenland Purchase

First: This is the big one. A nation can't just adopt the American Bill of Rights and the Constitution and wave at the American people, "See, we did it!" Another condition would involve legislative adoption, and all that goes with it - repealing onerous gun-control laws, "hate speech" laws, and so forth. Pass laws codifying protections against unreasonable search and seizure, requiring warrants for searches. Establish a bicameral legislature and a Supreme Court, as the Constitution requires - or simply dissolve all of their governing bodies and adopt the U.S. government as their own in exchange for (let's start with) territorial status.

Second: Not only no or negligible debt, but the country should actually be profitable. Granted that rules out... well, everybody.

Third: Withdrawing from the UN, WHO, EU, and so on is a good idea, but we should note that if a plurality of nations accept our offer, those institutions would be rendered obsolete.

The status of these territories may be subject to meeting requirements and other negotiations, of course. Mr. "Snave" has some thoughts on that as well.

Some might be states, but most will be like the original concept of the British Commonwealth—independent nations with similar goals working together and giving each other preferred status in everything.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if, 250 years after 1776, there developed a Commonwealth of America, even as Britain sinks under the oceans that made it great for all those centuries? The baton passes.

Ironic? Yes. A real new world order, based on the United States Constitution? Sure. To paraphrase a statement made in the years leading up to World War 2, we could have all the world under one constitutional roof. Is it likely, or even possible? Nope. But it's fun to think about. As a writer of science-fiction and alternative history, I've played a lot of "what-if" thought games. This is a fun one, even if it's about as likely as Joe Biden spontaneously growing wings and flying to Jupiter.