When you're flying a helicopter, and something large crashes through your windshield, what's the first thing you should do?

Duck.

An Iowa helicopter pilot is back in the air, two weeks after a waterfowl smashed through the windshield of his chopper and knocked him for a loop.

Pilot Troy McCormick told KCAU-TV that he's lucky he wasn't hurt worse on Nov. 23 when what he believed was a duck came crashing through the windshield. He returned to work Wednesday.

McCormick flies for Wings Rescue in Sioux City. He was en route to Storm Lake Hospital to pick up a patient. The chopper was near the hospital, "and just about that time, ‘wham!’" McCormick recalled. "The bird came through the windscreen and hit me right in the side of the head here, ‘boom,’ and then exploded all over in the inside of the aircraft."

Ducks can be quite large, and from long experience hunting the web-footed fowl, I can tell you that they are muscular, heavily feathered, and fast fliers, so it's easy to see how one such bird could do a lot of damage to deliquack avionics, much less the pilot. Fortunately, Mr. McCormick came through the ordeal without lasting injury, although the duck was less fortunate.

McCormick, covered in blood and feathers, was able to divert to Storm Lake Airport and land, though he remains fuzzy about how that happened.

"Knocked me out for a little bit I think," he said. "I don’t remember some of the information about what all happened. I remembered (a fellow crew member) talking to me a little bit, telling me what we needed to do, and we did that. We were able to land at the airport safely."

Ducks, of course, don't pose quite the threat as larger animals, like, say, moose. I'm just winging it here, but one has to consider the policy that the felonious fowl in question had ill intent; while it may have been a Lord of the Wings, it seems his attempt at anti-aircraft operations was inadequack. This bird's goose may well be cooked, but we humans should be alert for other webfooted felons that may have been observing to improve their technique.

Birds can and do cause serious damage to aircraft. Human tactics for re-duck-tion of these strikes are continually improving, leading to something of a human/avian arms race.

Bird strikes pose a significant threat to aviation safety, causing substantial economic losses and endangering human lives.

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— DeTect (@DeTect__Inc) November 25, 2023

Throughout human history, we've been hunting animals, raising them for food, using their fur for clothing, and so on. It should come as no surprise that, finally, the animals are striking back; in this particular case, I have to admit it was done with style. The bird had some je ne sais quack about him.

There are, as of this writing, no details on the repair costs for the helicopter. Let's hope that Mr. McCormick won't get stuck with the bill.

If you're not a fan of puns, please accept my apologeese. At least the duck didn't carry an offensive name. That would just be too much.

This seems appropriate.