My mom taught my sisters and me when we were young that one of the most important things we could do on our voyage of self-discovery and improvement, and in our faith walk, was to try to put our best foot forward every day.
It didn't mean we had to be perfect people; there is no such thing. It didn't mean we couldn't have stumbles and setbacks. After all, such things help us learn and grow stronger. It just meant that at the end of the day, when we looked at ourselves in the mirror before bedtime as we reflected on the day's events, we needed to be happy with the person we saw staring back at us.
It wasn't a message that resonated with me much until I grew older and had built up the emotional maturity to be able to better understand and appreciate the words of wisdom.
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Like many people out there, I haven't always been happy with the person I see in the mirror. And I'm not talking about from a physical perspective (though I admit to scanning for new grays and wrinkles from time to time),
I've been needlessly selfish at times. Unnecessarily harsh and/or impatient at other times. I've also been overly judgmental of myself and others who didn't deserve it.
I haven't always been proud of the way I've dealt with critics, and honestly, looking back at some of the remnants left on the online battlefield of my back-and-forths with certain folks during my flamethrower days makes me cringe a bit. So much so that in a few instances, when I looked back and reassessed the exchange in hindsight and determined that the other person was trying to approach me in good faith on an issue, I've actually apologized to them. Not always easy, because no one likes to admit they - or their approach to something - was wrong.
Thankfully, I can confidently say that I've gotten much better at mellowing out on that front and letting criticism, including the wishes from my supposed intellectual betters on the left that I would experience a painful life event, roll off my back. Take it from me: Life is simply too short to be obsessed with every negative/nasty thing said about you and/or your beliefs. Ultimately, we don't answer to these people, anyway. We answer to our loved ones, ourselves, and, most importantly, the Almighty.
This is where the beauty of standing before that mirror comes into play. You can think back on how the day/week went, and ask yourself a few questions. Did what I said or did during the course of the day help or hurt someone else who perhaps needed to be uplifted? Did my words and actions advance me in a positive direction in my faith walk? Did I do right by my loved ones? Was I true to myself? Have I helped advance the conversation on xyz issue? Are the people in my life supportive and encouraging?
It sounds like a lot - and it doesn't have to be done every single night, but it will become second nature at a certain point, kind of like walking. And one also needs to prepare for those times when we're not going to like the answers.
Having said all that, I know I'm preaching to the choir to some extent, but some things bear repeating if for no other reason than to remind ourselves in the course of the day-to-day hustle and struggle that there is meaning and purpose to our lives beyond the daily grind.
We're all a work in progress, and we need to be willing to give ourselves some grace. But the key is actually to progress and not to regress. And you know what progressing involves? As the best mother on this earth would say, putting your best foot forward, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
