It is inevitable that at some point, the caregiver is going to be in the position where they are the ones needing care, a situation I've found myself in a few times since becoming Mom's full-time caregiver nearly four years ago, shortly before I lost my dad.
In most instances, I was able to soldier on through whatever ailment I was dealing with, albeit at reduced capacity, or had a family member here to do what I was too tired to try and handle, like getting trash taken out, making trips to the grocery store, and things like that. Mom even stepped in one time and helped me when I had a pretty bad cold for about a week and a half in December 2023, and had confined myself to the bedroom, refusing to let anyone come over out of fear of giving them my cold.
God bless her, Mom would grab the Door Dash and Amazon orders, only leaving the Amazon bigger orders that she couldn't get for me to grab whenever I felt up to it. She would also supply me with bottled waters when I ran out, putting them outside my door since I didn't want her to come into my room over concerns about her catching what I had.
READ MORE (VIP): Caregiver's Diary Part 5: What Happens When the Caregiver Gets Sick?
Over the weekend, I was, for all intents and purposes, down for the count, with a neck and shoulder injury that I honestly would not wish on my worst enemy. I'm not exactly sure when it started, but I think it was sometime shortly after the new year rang in. It began as an occasional twinge here and there, to more often than not feeling what I called a triangle of pain and discomfort between the back of my neck on the left side, my left shoulder blade, and the spot between both shoulder blades. By Tuesday/Wednesday of last week, I was beginning to get really frustrated that not only was the issue not tapering off, but it felt like it was getting worse.
The only time I was comfortable was when I was either lying down or standing up. Sitting down was when I felt it the most. In frustration, I ended up buying one of those types of seat cushions that have an opening where less pressure is put on your spine as you're sitting down, which really helped a lot.
I also tried a variety of neck massagers and neck ice packs ordered off of Amazon, with one of the massagers looking like something you'd have seen in a sci-fi horror movie (it was quickly packaged up for return, not because of the way it looked but because it didn't do what I needed it to).
By Friday, I had resigned myself to going to one of the Ortho urgent cares we have in the Charlotte area on Saturday or Sunday, because it was getting to the point I wasn't comfortable except when I was walking.
I hit a turning point, though, when I woke up Saturday morning. I was feeling a little better and decided to design my own "treatment plan" that ended up working pretty well, even though, as of this writing, I'm still not at 100 percent.
The treatment plan (disclaimer: I am not a doctor. This is not to be construed as professional medical advice.) went something like this: Taking Advil three times a day, periodically using another massager we had on hand (one that I had forgotten about) as needed, switching between ice and heat for the affected areas, sleeping on one of those wedge pillows that elevated me just enough to make sleeping on either side comfortable, religiously using the "tush cushion," and, of course, praying for healing.
I also continued to cut way back on my "normal" activities, and my sis coming over on Sunday to help with some things greatly aided in my being able to do that.
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Mom, too, has done what she can, reminding me when to use the ice or heat, grabbing me a snack or making sure I had the pillows I needed, and scolding me when she thought I was trying to do too much.
Being a caregiver for as long as I have been now, which includes the years I helped mom care for my dad, it feels weird being the one who needs to take it easy, the one who could use some help (especially because I sometimes have trouble asking for help). But I was so thankful to be able to lean on family as I went through it all, to know that they had my back when I was down for the count.
Needless to say, this is not how I wanted 2026 to start, especially coming off of a couple of weeks of my mom going through back issues herself at the end of 2025, to the point we had to postpone getting together with family for the Christmas holiday. But hopefully by the end of the week, my latest "life happens" moment will be behind us, and I'll be able to start on some (long-delayed, of course!) projects I've mapped out for January.
Onward!
DIVE DEEPER: To check out my previous Caregiver's Diary entries, please click here. Thank you!
