Slamming the Door Shut on the Grief-Shaming of Erika Kirk

Something that unfortunately has persisted in the aftermath of the assassination of Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk has been the grief-shaming of his wife, Erika Kirk.

This has primarily taken place among bad-faith social media influencers with large followings and who are hungry for engagement and likes/shares, and like-minded individuals who've joined in on the pile-on, suggesting that Erika Kirk's grief is inauthentic and has somehow been enhanced or staged for maximum effect.

The "evidence" they have is straight out of Loonyville, with some of these folks taking to Zaprudering videos of Mrs. Kirk's public appearances frame by frame, and turning the moments into memes. Ahead of Halloween, there were even images of so-called "grifter widow" costumes circulating that included what her critics described as "fake teardrops" and 'black leather mourning pants."

One popular narrative from the grief-shamers revolves around the fact that Erika Kirk has had the nerve to smile and laugh during speaking engagements. Here's one of the more recent incarnations of that criticism:

The epitome of “grief.” pic.twitter.com/m8g6XoFuUz
— ThePatrioticBlonde🇺🇸 (@ImBreckWorsham) December 8, 2025

Justifiably, there has been a lot of pushback on this among conservatives, with some widows weighing in with their thoughts:

My husband died almost 16 years ago. Sadly, there isn’t a manual to follow after your entire existence has been blown up and you’re standing in the pieces trying to put it back together. Being with people who knew your person eases the crippling pain and aching hollowness. You smile and laugh and rejoice in the stories and memories of your person. You celebrate their life because you simply cannot mourn their death 24/7, it’s a disservice to them and to yourself and to everyone around. I sincerely hope you never have to navigate that depth of grief and if you do, I hope no one judges you as pettily, small, and hateful as you have judged Erika Kirk.

My husband died almost 16 years ago. Sadly, there isn’t a manual to follow after your entire existence has been blown up and you’re standing in the pieces trying to put it back together. Being with people who knew your person eases the crippling pain and aching hollowness. You… https://t.co/Nccxvk5ZzU
— Heather B (@BoulwareH2) December 9, 2025

Speaking from experience with grief? You put on the happy face when you have obligations to fill. You can’t be a sobbing mess 24/7.

But I can tell you that at the end of the day, when no one can see you, no one is watching?

You feel EVERYTHING. https://t.co/35DLB3rna7
— Laura W. (@BumpstockBarbie) December 8, 2025

I'm not a widow, but my mom is, and I've talked in my Caregiver's Diary series some about how we processed the grief from losing my dad in 2022 in very different ways.

READ MORE (VIP): Caregiver's Diary Part 48: Missing Dad

As I noted at the time, after a couple of weeks of crying a lot of tears and saying goodbye to my dad, I had to shift gears and focus on my mom's health and some things that were going on with her that later would be diagnosed as symptoms of colon cancer. Throughout that whole process and even to this day, mom would and still looks lovingly at dad's photos and talks nearly every day about how she still misses him.

The grief I was feeling as we went to the doctor appointments to narrow down what mom's issues were largely centered around the fact that all I could think about was that if my dad was still with us, we wouldn't be finding out what her health issues were, because she had put her medical care on the back burner in the last two years of his life as his issues worsened to care for him and make sure his needs were being met.

I missed my dad greatly - I still do, but I would also sometimes talk to God about his timing, because in my heart I felt like God had timed it so that we could find out about mom's diagnosis in time to be able to do something about it in a way that (hopefully) would be able to prolong her time with us and also give her a good quality of life in her golden years.

Also, weirdly, after we lost a dad, there were the mixed feelings of relief and guilt I had - relief because I knew dad wasn't suffering anymore, and guilt because, as time went on, I wasn't shedding the same amount of tears and prolonging the thought processes about losing dad in the same way mom was.

Everyone processes grief differently, and unlike most of us, Erika Kirk has had to process a lot of hers in a public way, after the untimely death of a husband and father, something that came as a result of an assassination that was caught on video. Further, the stature of her husband as a worldwide conservative movement leader and a strong man of faith and purpose alone was such that she has clearly felt a calling to commemorate his legacy by ensuring that it endures long after his name falls from the headlines.

Frankly, I think that, considering all that has happened over the last three months, Erika Kirk has done a remarkable job of not only holding it together and honoring her husband's memory and work, but also with her kids and the life lessons they are having to learn way too early in life.

It's interesting, really. The people who want the world to harshly judge Erika Kirk for how she's navigated the grief process after losing her husband really don't have a clue that they're the ones who, when it comes right down to it, are facing the negative judgments in the court of public opinion, bless their hearts. These influencers are learning a hard lesson about how not all the publicity you bring upon yourself in the name of upping follower counts and clout is the good kind.

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