Dear Congressman Brooks (Re: Your Proposed ObamaCare Exemption)

You Mean ObamaCare Is Bad For Congress?!
You Mean ObamaCare Is Bad For Congress?!

Dear Congressman Brooks,

It would appear you are about to exempt yourselves and your Congressional Staffs from the ObamaCare requirement that you and your staffs join a HIX. I, your humble right-wing reactionary from AL-5, am writing just to advise you that there are three ways this whole thing can go. Congress can now either demonstrate its fundamental mendacity and contempt for the laws it imposes upon the rest of America, or two, you guys can learn just exactly why your constituents hate ObamaCare. Or three; you may really be on to something here. Indulge me just a few minutes of your valuable time as I explain.


In option one, Congress just exempts itself from ObamaCare while continuing to inflict the Progressive Liberalism of this law on your subjects, oops I mean constituents. They do this because they are afraid their Congressional Offices would suffer a brain drain. I would prefer that you and your colleagues display a greater self-awareness than describing said inability to hire your favorite cronies as a brain drain per se, but we’ll go with that for the sake of lively and vivacious conversation. With the additional costs associated with the plans available on said HIX, these poor, over-worked and under-loved staffers will have no choice but to seek gainful employment elsewhere. So by exempting yourself (and every other member of the peerage we fought a revolution back in the late 18th Century to avoid be subinfuedated under) you miss out on why ObamaCare will feel like a neutron bomb to small business employment.

Option Two, proposed by your worthy colleague in the Senate Richard Burr, involves sucking it up, tying your guts to your shirt and living with the HIX like the rest of poor shlubs that you shake down for campaign contributions. This option would better help you all to understand why ObamaCare enrages people into doing unreasonable things like joining Tea Parties. It explains why people are stubborn and just won’t hire or invest in their businesses with the same dumb alacrity with which the soldiers of General Pickett ran screaming up Cemetary Ridge. Under Option Two you could personally learn what Scottish Poet, Robert Burns meant by the stanzas below.


The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley,

(To A Mouse, Robert Burns)

Now option three, there’s a noble plan! Let me lay it out for you. As mathematicians would put it, we’ll call it assumption without loss of generality. You could just assume that if ObamaCare is too onerous for you to run your Congressional Office, it would also put a really big crimp in your imperial style as you attempted to operate Mo Brooks Mufflers. You could assume without loss of generality that exemptions that were good enough for The District Five Congressional Office of Congressman Mo Brooks were also good enough for every small business in Huntsville or Decatur, AL. You could champion legislation to completely exempt ALL business from ObamaCare. You could repeal this thing before you get the trainwreck that Senator Baucus (who, oh by the way, helped write this homesick abortion of a law) promised all noble and hardworking Americans.

So how about it, Congressman? Let’s hold Congress to the same standard I get held to as I type away in my cubical farm. Let’s either make you eat the same feke sandwich myself and my neighbors do, or better yet; let’s kill this iniquitous law today.


Sincerely Yours,
Madison, AL


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