Syria Is As Syria Does

GOP Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich gave a speech in Nashville, TN. In this speech he addressed what he felt America should do about the current situation in Afghanistan.


We are not going to fix Afghanistan. It is not possible,” Gingrich said. “These are people who have spent several thousand years hating foreigners. And what we have done by staying is become the new foreigners. “This is a real problem. And there are some problems where you have to say, ‘You know, you are going to have to figure out how to live your own miserable life … because you clearly don’t want to learn from me how to be unmiserable.’ And that is what you are going to see happen.”

(HT: Atlanta Journal Constitution)

I would like to add further that Former Speaker Gingrich could revise and extend his remarks to include, Egypt, Libya and Syria as well. If that sounds like cruelty, justice often entails cruelty. Nothing can be less compassionate than giving large groups of people exactly what they condignly deserve.

In Egypt, the people deserve The Muslim Brotherhood. If 80% of their citizens prefer stoning as a punishment for adultery, The Muslim Brotherhood should dominate free and fair Egyptian Elections. They, like Saul of Tarsus, are quite content holding the cloaks of anyone who’d like to try out their pitching arm. It is, after all, the will of the people.

In Libya, after months not weeks; truth, justice and butchery of Black Afr….wriiip!..

For his part, Chika Onyeani, publisher and editor-in-chief of the African Sun Times, in analysing why the African Union “is right not to recognise the Libyan rebels”, declared that “the rebels need to account for the killings of black Africans, not for the pretensions of ‘confusing them as mercenaries hired by Gadhafi’, but because of the anti-black, racist and innate hatred of black Africans, even though there are a million dark Africans who are Libyan citizens and are maltreated as well.



In Syria, the people rise up against the feckless, incompetent, bloody and brutal rule of Bashir Assad. The City of Homs is shelled by tanks and artillery and has been getting the business since 3 February of this year. Predictably, hundreds of innocent civilians have died. Predictably, Assad’s government has replied to these complaints with something along the lines of “(Bleep) ‘em if they can’t take a joke!”

With high dudgeon and great moral clarity, American UN Ambassador Susan Rice went to the UN and !Demanded! that the UN Security Council allow the US to set up a no-fly zone worthy of The Orkin Man over Syria. China, Russia and other security council members stopped laughing, wiped the soda-pop off their computer monitors and promptly vetoed the US-supported request. Susan Rice reacted about as gracefully as Barack Obama did to The Tea Party after the 2010 Midterm Elections.

“The United States is disgusted that a couple of members of this Council continue to prevent us from fulfilling our sole purpose,” U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice said. “For months this Council has been held hostage by a couple of members,” she said, referring to Russia and China, who she said had been “delaying and stripping bare any text to force Assad to stop his actions.” Without referring to Russia by name, she said the vetoes were “even more shameful” given that Russia has continued to sell weapons to to Syria. She called the vetoes “unforgivable” and said “any further blood that flows will be on their hands.”



There is more wrong with that than I have hours in a day to vivisect. Suffice it to say, guns don’t kill people, Syrians choose to use guns to kill people. This brings me to the ultimate gravamen of this blog post. Syrians will do rotten things to other Syrians whether Americans care enough to send our people to die over there or not. Given the choice of either sending people to die, or not sending people to die, this doesn’t constitute a rocket science problem. We had no business in Libya. We have no business in Syria. Syria is as Syria does.

Would letting the Syrians figure this out themselves constitute meanness? Sure! David Goldman conducts a séance with Cardinal Richelieu and explains below.

“We are a bit confused about Syria,” I began. “Its leader, Bashar al-Assad, is slaughtering his own people to suppress an uprising. And he is allied to Iran, which wants to acquire nuclear weapons and dominate the region. If we overthrow Assad, Sunni radicals will replace him, and take revenge on the Syrian minorities. And a radical Sunni government in Syria would ally itself with the Sunni minority next door in Iraq and make civil war more likely.”
“I don’t understand the question,” Richelieu replied.
“Everyone is killing each other in Syria and some other places in the region, and the conflict might spread. What should we do about it?”
“How much does this cost you?”
“Nothing at all,” I answered.
“Then let them kill each other as long as possible, which is to say for 30 years or so. Do you know,” the ghastly Cardinal continued, “why really interesting wars last for 30 years? That has been true from the Peloponnesian War to my own century. First you kill the fathers, then you kill their sons. There aren’t usually enough men left for a third iteration.”


Assuming Syria self-immolates; without attempting to take Turkey, Israel or Iraq down with it, I favor the Grandmaster Flash Doctrine for handling this particular crisis. “We don’t need no water; let the (bleeper-bleeper) burn.” I’m plum out of compassion for a part of the world where people pray “Death to America” as a part of their morning ablutions. Newt Gingrich has successfully figured this particular puzzle out.


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