ABC News Goes Miss Marple - Wants To Solve Mystery of Missing French Sapling

ABC News is really asking the important questions of our time these days.

Just days after the station’s White House correspondent Jonathan Karl, shouted a question at Pres. Trump asking if he planned to pardon his embroiled longtime attorney Michael Cohen, which Trump called a “stupid question,” the news outlet is on the case to solve where the oak sapling from France’s Belleau Woods disappeared to over the weekend.


In an article titled, “White House tree planted by Presidents Trump, Macron mysteriously vanishes,” ABC News cuts right to the chase:

Something of a mystery has taken root at the White House — an oak tree sapling, planted by President Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron, has gone missing.

The story goes on to show before and after photos of where the sapling was planted.

What nefarious interlopers absconded with the new immigrant tree? Did ICE agents deport it? Perhaps Trump and Macron’s bromance isn’t as amicable as it seems? Or maybe it’s more and Trump wanted the sapling closer to the Oval Office so he can gaze at it adoringly?

Where did this tree go? ABC News needs to know.

Nay! The American people deserve to know!

And, clearly, the Trump administration doesn’t want to tell the world what they’ve done. ABC News reports the White House hadn’t responded to questions about what happened to the tree.


Perhaps, again, because the question is stupid.

United States import regulations of trees and plants are required to go through a period of quarantine to ensure they are free of parasites and other plant diseases. Even items like used farm implements must be completely free of dirt when they are being brought into the United States.

Seeing as a quick utilization of the search bar on the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol website would tell you where the tree went,

“No soil or earth of any kind is allowed into the United States without a permit issued in advance by USDA Plant Protection and Quarantine Permit Unit.”

See. It’s in Plant Protection.

One really has to wonder what kind of mystery ABC News imagined they were tackling.


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