No, this is not an article from the satire site The Babylon Bee.

The Department of Homeland Security on Wednesday officially designated the Electoral College vote count and certification as a special national security event, putting the U.S. Secret Service in charge of security surrounding the process. 

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, in the aftermath of the July assassination attempt against Donald Trump, the Secret Service — "one of the elite law enforcement agencies in the world" — presently has a self-inflicted, less-than-stellar image.  

So, what's the deal? Why this, now? 

The move comes in response to the 2021 count, which saw a mob storm the Capitol to try to head off the count that certified President Biden as the winner over former President Donald Trump.

The vote counting joins other major events such as the national nominating conventions, presidential inaugurations and the president’s annual State of the Union address. But this is the first time the Electoral College counting and certification has been designated.

Curious, isn't it? It strikes me as a political move, made to remind the country of the so-called January 6, 2021 "insurrection" by Trump loyalists. Nah, the Biden-Harris administration would never do that, right? 

Like hell they wouldn't. 

Eric Ranaghan, special agent in charge of the Secret Service’s Dignitary Protective Division, milked it for all it was worth.

The U.S. Secret Service, in collaboration with our federal, state, and local partners are committed to developing and implementing a comprehensive and integrated security plan to ensure the safety and security of this event and its participants.

The agency said Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser also requested the move. Of course, she did.

The January 6 Congressional Committee that investigated the assault on the U.S. Capitol previously recommended the designation for future vote counts.

"Until January 6th, 2021, the joint session of Congress for counting electoral votes was not understood to pose the same types of security risks as other major events on Capitol Hill,” the committee said in its final report. “Given what occurred in 2021, Congress and the Executive Branch should work together to designate the joint session of Congress occurring on January 6th as a National Special Security Event."

Incidentally, as I'm sure you remember, if you sat through Tuesday's presidential debate, Kamala Harris absurdly called the January 6 assault "the worst attack on Democracy since the Civil War."

"Donald Trump left us the worst attack on Democracy since the Civil War." -Kamala Harris

Tomorrow is 9/11 pic.twitter.com/XxHhwMj9FK

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) September 11, 2024

Yeah, no. In addition, the December 7, 1941, attack on Pearl Harbor also comes to mind as making Harris sound like a politicizing fool.

Meanwhile, What's Going on With the Trump Assassination Investigation?

As the Secret Service's internal affairs division continues to investigate how a 20-year-old gunman was able to fire eight rounds from a rooftop near where Trump was speaking in Butler, Pennsylvania, on July 13, the agency has placed at least five agents on leave. 

Secret Service spokesman Anthony Guglielmi declined to confirm the agents were placed on leave, saying he would not comment on a personnel matter. But he said the service's "mission assurance review is progressing, and we are examining the processes, procedures and factors that led to this operational failure."

He added that the Secret Service "holds our personnel to the highest professional standards, and any identified and substantiated violations of policy will be investigated by the Office of Professional Responsibility for potential disciplinary action."

In addition, as we reported, an SS official was "encouraged to retire" on Tuesday, nearly two months after the assassination attempt.

The official, Assistant Director Michael Plati of the agency's Office of Protective Operations, led the section in control of planning for the protection of Trump, President Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Sen. JD Vance, and others, and is ending his tenure there this Friday, his 27th anniversary at the agency.

The Secret Service responded in a statement Tuesday that Plati "was not asked to resign or retire by anyone," adding: "This was a personal decision that he has made and we thank him for his 27 years of dedicated service to the federal government."

Sure it was.

The Bottom Line

Come January 6, 2025, Americans across the fruited plain can rest assured that the U.S. Secret Service will rise to the occasion and protect the Electoral College vote count and certification of the 2024 presidential election results from (pick one or more) an "insurrection," an "assault on democracy," or the "worst attack on democracy since the Civil War."