Anheuser-Busch continues to reel at the drubbing it’s taken since April. The company cashiered two of the guides who claimed to know the country ahead and instead led Bud Light into the disastrous Am-Busch at Mulvaney Creek. But it’s still trying to stop the bleeding.

A simple apology might suffice, but Anheuser-Busch can’t bring itself to anger the Alphabet Mob. So instead, it’s going to wrap itself in the flag, or the next best thing. It’s going to wrap Bud Light cans in camouflage, according to a report.

The company is set to launch a line of camouflage aluminum bottles that promote the “Folds of Honor” program, which provides educational scholarships for families of fallen and disabled American military service members and first responders, the New York Post reported.

That’s a noble cause, and I’m sure Folds of Honor appreciates the lift, even as it’s being used in a panicky attempt to rehabilitate the company.

“It’s an aluminum bottle,” a source familiar with the plan told the Post. “I believe it is the only package that will be transitioning, but I am not 100% certain on that.”

Messing around with “transitioning packages” is how it got in this predicament in the first place. [Rim-shot!] Don’t forget your waitresses. Seriously, Source, you’re not helping.

Bud Light sales dropped 23.6% versus a year ago during the week ended May 6, which continued its fall from weeks prior of a 23.3% decline for the week ended April 29, a 21.4% decline for the week ended April 22, and a 17% decline for the week ended April 15. Budweiser and Michelob Ultra have seen less significant declines.

The company’s stock value has taken a beating too. Yesterday Finbold News reported that :

As Anheuser-Busch tries to move past the scandal, it continues to experience an ongoing decline in share price. Indeed, BUD stock is now trading at $61.06, -$3.86 (-5.95%) in the past month.

In the last month, BUD has been trading in the $60.88 – $66.56 range, with it currently trading near the lows of this range.

How does it turn this thing around? At “a meeting in St. Louis last week with distributors to create a plan to counter declining sales amid its transgender controversy,” it came up with the camo can idea. Other ideas included “discounted beer, investments in sports betting, and focusing its marketing on country music, military, first responders and farmers.”

Hmm. So going back to doing what it should have been doing all along? Who woulda thunk it?

This whole thing was incredibly bone-headed. Giving your brand over to an Ivy League woman who gives interviews in which she scoffs at your product as “fratty,” is like asking Michael Moore to run Weight Watchers or me to market Major League Soccer. We’re not just ignorant of it, we’re downright hostile.

So Bud Light is turning back to the people it abandoned for the Audrey Hepburn impersonator with the Adam’s apple. Question: Will those folks have it back? It remains to be seen. Miller Light has its own problems, but there’s Coors. Let’s face it: domestic light beers just aren’t that different.

Oh, and as for not pissing off the Alphabet Mob? Here’s the headline from PinkNews about the new can: “Bud Light tries to appease fragile bigots with camouflage redesign amid Dylan Mulvaney row.” 

Heckuva job, Bud Light.