There’s an episode of the animated Justice League series from the 2000s where Batman convinces a T.V. executive to cut the feed on his channel because The Joker bought airtime. But, as it turns out, The Joker bought airtime on all the other networks in order to broadcast his madness to the rest of the world. His introduction pretty much describes exactly how 2016 was going to play out.
Unfortunately, Batman and The Joker are not real. Even more unfortunately, there is no Batman to stop this reality show we’re all being forced to endure.
We watched as the greatest field of candidates the GOP could put forward was mercilessly cut down by another insane clown, who proceeded to wreak havoc on the rest of the party’s voter base. He has made an absolute mockery of everything the party has stood for, and he is somehow still touted by those who would have us believe they are conservative and he is, too. However, he is a Democrat who donates to Democrats and has courted the white supremacist and alt-right support that has been delightfully silent up until now.
Not to be outdone, the Democrats have nominated a senile old woman whose family has been mired in scandal since before they rose to national prominence and won the presidency the first time. She is a frightening robot who has picked just about the most boring person the Democrats could offer as her Vice President. Her dismissiveness of her scandals is only rivaled by her private security team’s (and, apparently, her party’s) technological incompetence. This woman beat out an avowed socialist who had won the hearts and minds of the youth before being screwed over by the party they were excited to be an active part of.
Our entire political process has basically been what happens when memes come to life and 4chan and Tumblr* our society. I remain convinced that Milo Yiannopoulos is actually a science experiment that attempted to make 4chan a sentient being, and it worked.
In the meantime, we are arguing over men being allowed to use the women’s restroom, high-profile cases of cops shooting black men and cops getting murdered in retaliation, a gorilla was shot and killed and people are upset about it (but don’t worry because there is a GoFundMe to put him on Mt. Rushmore). All lives apparently don’t matter, they launched an investigation into the guy who made the Planned Parenthood videos and not into Planned Parenthood, and in fact Democrats cheered abortion at their national convention.
People asking for a moment of silence in honor of fallen police officers were interrupted by shouts of “Black lives matter!” There were protests, more violence, and racism on the airwaves comes from both sides. ISIS, meanwhile, has really intensified their efforts to harm the U.S. and Europe, but John Kerry believes that air conditioners are a bigger threat to the U.S. and to the world. They made a feminist Ghostbusters and it was as bad as you think a political Ghostbusters would be.
This has become a reality show, and whatever T.V. executive is out there needs to stop ordering seasons and just cancel the show in its entirety. Don’t even play the remaining episodes on a Sunday afternoon without any fanfare. Can we just end this stupid year? Can we skip to 2017? What’s even the point of going through this, when we know the outcome?
A control freak with authoritarian tendencies is going to beat a control freak with authoritarian tendencies. The only difference between them is their biological sex, but if the Left gets their way, then they can both use the same bathroom. And nobody wants either of these two in their bathrooms. The social Left is making everything, including a popular hibachi routine, either a microaggression, a sexual assault, or some other new and terrifying social taboo.
Why did 2016 ever have to happen? What did we do to be punished so? How can we atone for whatever sin caused 2016 to even happen?
*If either candidate vows to shut down Tumblr for good I will not only vote for them but also donate money.