Rainbows are everywhere in Utah.

I left California for a two-week vacation in deep red, conservative Utah. I left behind what seemed to be an unending parade of “pride,” a ceaseless series of cities, organizations, and corporations trying to out-pride the next guy, gal, or non-binary/two-bear. I left behind Dodgers honoring Catholic-mocking “Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and its month-long worship of “Pride.” The Dodgers logo changed to a rainbow. I flew to Utah for two weeks of golf and to visit my son. He left California, partly to escape the golden state’s restrictive gun policies and absurd home prices and to live in a more traditional environment.

Unable to buy a home in California, he settled into a suburb of Salt Lake. That suburb soon became a hot real estate market, with lots of Millennials, Gen Y, and Zs moving in, buying homes built by the Greatest Generation. The homes are mostly brick and have changed little since they housed post-war families with black and white TV adorned, with an American flag flying from the stoop. Times, as they say, have changed. Maybe they don’t fly the Pride flag in parts of Michigan, but in a suburb of Utah, neighbors compete to “out-Pride” the next house.

American flags have been replaced. The flag of honor is several iterations of the rainbow flag. And, apparently, the flag that must be flown. The Crest of Perpetual Pride is the ribbon that must be worn. My son left after a few days for a vacation and left his pooch for me to watch and feed and walk. I walked the dog and witnessed a neighborhood festooned with rainbows. House after house dressed in the colors of the rainbow, and most flying the additional colors of the transbow. They were everywhere. This quiet corner of Utah, if not for the constant use of brick in lieu of stucco or wood, could have been West Hollywood or The Castro. They were everywhere. Utah, or at least this part of Utah, was wearing the ribbon.

Almost 30 years ago, Seinfeld predicted the future in an episode called “The Sponge.” Kramer showed up for an AIDS walk, but Kramer refused the ribbon. Kramer was verbally abused, then physically attacked. Why? He wouldn’t wear the ribbon.

The ribbon bullies demand that you show your colors. All of them. Fly the rainbow. Be the rainbow. And in Utah, my son’s neighborhood has bought in—hook, line, and rainbow. In a suburb of Salt Lake, you must fly the rainbow.

In my home neighborhood in SoCal, there are a couple of rainbow flags unfurled during June, but they are rare. In Utah – at least in my kid’s ‘hood, your house must wear the rainbow.

On my dog walks, there were dozens of homes with rainbow flags.

There were BLM signs too. They believe. Love is Love.

Some were big. Some small. But most wore the ribbon.

They were, to my further dismay, rainbow flags but with stars and stripes, including my son’s next-door neighbor. My son’s next-door neighbor wasn’t flying the rainbow flag when I first arrived. Then, about a week in, there it was. A rainbow flag. Maybe a neighbor or a friend told them, “Your house must wear the ribbon.

“Why is your house not wearing the ribbon? “You must wear the ribbon!

Is your house wearing the ribbon? In Utah, they are.

P.S. My son’s house doesn’t wear the ribbon – not that there’s anything wrong with that.