Like most Americans, I’ll be watching the Super Bowl from a couch. I won’t be watching the commercials.

The commercials can be interesting. Some have been genuinely funny but do people really tune in to watch the commercials? Do people really care about the halftime spectacle? I’ve gone to parties where some people (aka wives of people I don’t know) have said that they don’t care about the game, just the “entertainment”.

I golfed on Friday and two of my buddies have gone to Super Bowls. Neither of them would go to another one unless the tickets were free. Why? Because they’ve “been there and done that”. I would never pay $50,000 to watch anything live – and I think anyone paying that kind of cash for a Super Bowl ticket is insane. I mean actually nuts. I don’t care how good the halftime show is.

So, I will be watching in the comfort of someone’s couch watching a football game with maybe a woman I barely know asking silly questions about a game they don’t understand. Cool. Watch the commercials and leave me alone.

Where are my predictions for the “Big Game” TV event?

1. I will be asked at least one silly question about football.
2. The commercials will be moderately funny and maybe one will be very funny.
3. At least two commercials will be so preachy as to cause millions of eyes to roll.
4. The Chiefs will win by 5.
5. Joe Biden will make a fool of himself during his interview.
6. I won’t be watching the halftime show.

The last two are locks. Bet on it.

Anticipating what commercial you’d see during the commercial breaks was part of the fun. But now you can watch them all on YouTube or Twitter. So why bother watching the commercials during the Super Bowl?  When there’s a commercial break, go load up on food and drink.

ESPN thinks Serena Williams is awesome, even when she’s being a jerk. Now that she’s not playing tennis her agent is booking her for commercials. This year she’s in two, maybe more. She doesn’t say a word in either one – and that’s a good thing because she can’t put her foot in her mouth.

Michelob Ultra recreates Caddyshack and it’s fun and well done. Williams doesn’t talk and “Danny” from the movie is her caddy. Cute, but I’m still not buying your beer.

And then, there’s Booking.com. Unless you read subtitles you won’t understand what McCarthy is “singing.” No thanks. Bring back Idris Elba, please.

Going somewhere, anywhere @melissamccarthy? How about the Big Game? #bookingyeah pic.twitter.com/FkCnv1oRoI

— Booking.com (@bookingcom) February 6, 2023

Pepsi’s ads are clever, but I’m not going to buy soda even if it doesn’t have sugar. Sodas are awful. Anyway here is Ben Stiller, fresh off of bowing at Zelinskyy’s feet, hocking Pepsi Zero. I think the pitch is if you think acting is fake, try a Pepsi Zero because it’s so fake it tastes just like an awful-for-you sugary soda. I guess that might get people to buy Pepsi Zero, I’m just not one of them.

Here is an early look at our Pepsi Zero Sugar extended Super Bowl commercial. Was @BenStiller’s reaction #RealOrActing? 🤔 Let us know 👇 #Zoolander #RachelDratch #SuperBowlLVII @TheRealDratch pic.twitter.com/sB4JReEjn1

— Pepsi (@pepsi) February 8, 2023

I’m waiting for football, not the commercial. Beer, chips, burgers. Enjoy your afternoon.