Premium

CODE RED COMICS: Grandpa Sex Doll

“RealDoll” is a sex doll company. It recently received an order for the Old Man model. It isn’t named yet. I guess that’s up to the client. Walter would be a nice fit for a dummy if it wasn’t already taken. The company is working on a latex robot, Henry, which sounds like a fitting name for an Old Man model. Why Henry? Why not. Why “Henry” even exists and why Henry has a name are questions for psychiatrists, not cartoonists, but that won’t stop me from having fun with Henry. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Like Sheriff Woody, Old Man Henry should come with a pull ring. Instead of “There’s a snake in my boot!” Henry’s cord pull inflates his equipment and he screams “Get off my lawn!”. On second thought let’s go with “there’s a snake in my boot”. Or how about, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up!”.

The whole concept of sex dolls and specifically a grandpa sex doll named Henry causes me to gag, then recoil, then gag again. But, apparently, there are people out there willing to throw down on average $12,000 for a sex doll. What kind of weird fetish is wanting a latex robot that resembles Norman Bates’ mom? The doll ordered looks like Harrison Ford if he had drunk from the wrong challis.

I’m hoping it’s not a fetish. I’m hoping that the client is just a blonde looking for a sugar daddy. She orders her doll and finds out that batteries are not included, and neither is her million-dollar nest egg.