Greetings from the sports desk located somewhere below decks of the Good Pirate Ship RedState. Sammy the Shark and Karl the Kraken are too busy munching on the season’s first shipment of pumpkin spice fish crackers to help, so as usual, I’m doing all the work myself. 

College football’s first full weekend has taken center stage in this, the final weekend of pro football widows having at least a slim chance of getting something productive out of their husbands before the NFL season enters the stage, not unlike Godzilla entering Tokyo. The first week, spread out over two weekends, of college football seldom features much in the way of marquee matchups, with most of the more prominent programs preferring to play Patsy U. in a glorified joint scrimmage. 

Considering how many years out schools get together to work out their respective non-conference schedules, this scenario can turn around and bite the big boys. It undoubtedly made sense to TCU at the time to schedule Colorado fresh out of the gate at contract, given how the Buffaloes have been beef stew for the past several seasons. That changed when the university lured Deion Sanders away from Jackson State. Taking full advantage of how college players can now switch schools in pursuit of better playing opportunities with greater ease than Elon Musk can pay for dinner, plus his superb motivational and coaching skills, Sanders has rebuilt Colorado to the tune of where, on September 2, they defeated the 17th-ranked Horned Frogs 45-42. The Buff is (are?) back. 

Unfortunately, for those longing for top-flight programs going head-to-head, there is very little of this on the September 9 dance card. Of presently-ranked teams, there will be only two games of note. Ole Miss travels to Tulane, while Texas visits Alabama. The latter should prove of interest, as it will introduce the Longhorns to precisely what they’ve gotten into by joining the SEC starting next year. Other than that, many “thank you for coming” games are on tap. Again.

On to baseball. Due to the distinct possibility that both the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox will miss this year’s postseason, ESPN has announced the season’s cancellation. Just kidding … sort of. Anyway, with the expanded wild card, even with some divisions all but clinched — Atlanta Braves in the National League East, Los Angeles Dodgers in the National League West — there are many teams with a lot to play for. 

The American League West is the hottest division, with the Seattle Mariners currently one game up on the Houston Astros and two up on the Texas Rangers. Cleveland, even with a sub-.500 record, is within shouting distance of the Minnesota Twins in the American League Central, while much to the aforementioned ESPN’s chagrin, the American League East has the Baltimore Orioles with a two-game lead over the Tampa Bay Rays. As of this writing, the American League wild card teams are the Rays, Astros, and Texans. 

The National League Central has those gritty, gutty, surprising, and sometimes infuriating Chicago Cubs 4.5 games back of the Milwaukee Brewers, so it’s possible there will be a division championship chase before the regular season concludes. The wild card chase is wild indeed, with the Philadelphia Phillies and Cubs holding the first two slots. The Arizona Diamondbacks and San Francisco Giants share the third, with the Cincinnati Reds a half-game behind and the Miami Marlins 1.5 games out. 

In other sports, the most lucrative job in the world before 7:30 PM Pacific time on September 3 is a ticket scalper in Southern California. Why? Lionel Messi and Inter Miami FC are in town to take on LAFC. A quick glance at StubHub shows standing-room tickets selling for over $600. Think everyone in L.A. wishing to see and be seen will be there? Sure they will. Alongside 15 or so actual soccer fans. 

Enjoy the extended weekend, everyone.