Just when we thought the Cult of the Mask couldn’t get more nutty or overbearing, along comes an article in the “Well” section of the New York Times headlined “Two Masks Are the New Masks.”

The subhead informs the reader:

Double-masking is a sensible and easy way to lower your risk when you have to spend more time around others — in a taxi, on a train or plane, or at an inauguration.

Sensible and easy? Not in any way.

Referencing Joe Biden’s inauguration, the columnist said:

“But the fashion trend that most excited me was the double mask!

“Pete Buttigieg, the former presidential candidate and now the nominee for secretary of transportation, was spotted double-masking. It appears he was wearing a high-quality medical mask underneath a black cloth mask. His husband, Chasten, was sporting a similar double-masked look, but with a fashionable plaid cloth mask that coordinated with his winter scarf.”

Why is this exciting? Well, of course, because:

We should all be thinking about the quality of our masks right now. New variants of the coronavirus continue to emerge, and one in particular is cause for pressing concern in the United States because it’s so contagious and spreading fast.

A virus is mutating? Color us shocked.

And, the author links to the “latest research urging a well-fitted two- or three-layer mask.” Well, excuse us if we are a little leery of the “latest research” regarding coronavirus when for months, starting just about a year ago, we were told that masks weren’t necessary and that we needed to just wash our hands, keep calm, and carry on.

If you don’t want to spring for a two- or three-layer mask, the column’s got some handy-dandy tips, as if you’ve got dozens of masks laying around or can afford to continually purchase disposable masks. Using your existing masks, you can:

[J]ust double-mask when you go to the store or find yourself spending time with people from outside your household.

Um, are people seriously masking inside their own homes or while out with their own families? Why else would such a qualifier be necessary?

The author closes the ode to double (or triple) masks by linking to a story written by a colleague who contends that “Mask-slipping is the new Manspreading.” Mask-slipping, if you don’t know, is when your mask (gasp) goes below your nose. The author of the double-mask column admits to shouting at her television when Chief Justice John Roberts mask-slipped during the inauguration. Others (Democrat men) on the stage committed the same infraction during the inauguration, but the author only admitted to shouting at her television when Roberts mask-slipped.

Prepare yourselves for the new 2021 era of tsk-tsk’ing. A single mask is no longer enough, and it must never, leave your nose uncovered. Because the Science™ of 2021 ignores the long-known facts that viruses mutate and that people are the most contagious just before they become symptomatic, and the 2020 science that a single cloth mask would prevent most transmissions.

Just say no.