Warning: Mostly Satire.

You see, this is why Attorney General Merrick Garland had to clamp down on those parents attending school board meetings and protesting. These people are becoming like untreated venereal disease, infecting the entire country.

Now we have these domestic terrorists becoming a problem in of all places, Anchorage, AK. The good comrades in the Anchorage Assembly held a secret meeting, as all meetings concerning state matters should be. In that meeting, the Assembly did as their betters have demanded: passed a city-wide mask ordinance in order to protect control the populace from COVID-19. Anchorage is the largest city in the State of Alaska; an example must be set.

But these agitators continue to cause trouble as reported by a local rag of disinformation.

Anchorage Assembly Chair Suzanne LaFrance lost control of the public hearing about the forced masking of Anchorage, which continued on Thursday night.

She started on the wrong foot with the crowd, after she passed a rule forbidding Assemblywoman Jamie Allard and Mayor Dave Bronson from addressing any more testifiers with their questions. She called their questions dilatory — a delay tactic.

The crowd went into resistance mode after seeing the Assembly take an action the people viewed as a hostile act.

Why Seward bought this ridiculous territory from Russia is beyond me. Anyone who can endure the temperature extremes are obviously brain-addled, and this has been making itself manifest.

They came to the mic to testify, and when they didn’t use all of their three minutes allowed, they stood there and stared until the clock ran out.

One child spoke at the mic for a minute, talking about how hard it is for her and her friends to be constantly masked, and then the child stood silently, until someone in the audience started whistling “Glory, Glory, Hallelujah,” and soon most of the audience was singing along.

The audio-visual worker running the Assembly’s YouTube channel for the public cut the sound, but the singing continued until the child’s three minutes had finished. The crowd cheered.

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah?! They had to dig deep into their racist roots for The Battle Hymn of the Republic—typical.

Our comrades have been trying for weeks to get this ordinance voted on and cemented into law, but these domestic terrorists just keep showing up! We need to get Australia’s tactics into play here—these people should not even be allowed to leave their houses.

Later, in a similar situation where the speaker had not used up her time, the crowd broke into a full rendition of the National Anthem, while LaFrance leaned over to get advice from Assemblyman Felix Rivera. She was no longer in the position to bang the gavel during the National Anthem, but she didn’t face or listen to the crowd.

The domestic terrorists continued their dilatory tactics, resorting to singing, The Star Spangled Banner—and they actually knew all the lyrics! A sign that they are truly dangerous.

It’s been six nights of testimony and the people still come, night after night in an attempt to keep testifying in order to delay the vote on the law that the Assembly seeks to pass that would force all of Anchorage into masks. The ordinance is under consideration after the Assembly majority advanced it to the agenda during a nearly secret meeting at the end of September.

LaChance has used all of the maneuvers in which she’s been instructed, but it only appears to further embolden them! And getting children involved? What are they teaching them in this state?! All the flag waving is simply obnoxious. Those racists roots coming to the fore once again.

On Thursday night, after LaFrance muzzled the mayor and Allard, the mayor dismissed the security guards and Adam Trombley, director of the city’s economic and community development department, walked out to the podium and removed the Plexiglas barricade, to the cheering of the public.

As things were clearly not going the direction of the Assembly majority, LaFrance then tried to move the meeting to a small room in City Hall on Friday starting at 9 am, to ensure that no more testifiers would attend. The room the Assembly uses at City Hall only holds about 40 people. That failed after it became transparent that what was going on was an attempt to keep the public out.

“It really does appear that we are trying to exclude public testimony,” said Assemblywoman Jamie Allard.

This Jamie Allard needs re-education. Any allowance of public testimony only leads to the chaos that we are seeing across the nation. Chaos we cannot control and can no longer tolerate. Allard also refuted her fellow comrade that this was not a public health emergency. Once we have these domestic terrorists under control, she needs to be replaced.

Ultimately the Assembly chose to compromise and continue the hearing at 3 pm on Friday; the public hearing cannot be closed any earlier than 6 pm, with an end of the meeting set at 10 pm. The meeting will be in the Assembly chambers in the Loussac Library.

If the weak mayor had done what he should have and locked down the city, we would not be having these problems. All this talk of freedom and liberty, and the expectation that this rabble has any say in these matters, is truly preposterous.

May AG Garland succeed in his plans. There is still so much work to be done before we can reach a healthy, safe, and sane society. We must continue to lead the way on this, for the good of the nation.