Sorry. Couldn't help it. Ever since I saw this story, I couldn't get the song out of my head. So, Jonathan Philip Chadwick Sumption, entitled "Lord" Sumption as a mere courtesy, has called Vice-President JD Vance's speech to European leaders "silly and immature" for standing up and saying that the shared values we have (free speech being one of them) are under assault from within (Europe itself).

How foppingly British of him. One can almost hear the buck teeth clinking against the china tea cup. The "Lord" might want to be careful. In the course of history, it wasn't all that long ago that a bunch of silly and immature colonists sent his great-great-great-great grandfathers back to England soundly and thoroughly beaten black and blue. Maybe sometimes these young whelps actually know what they're talking about.

So anyway, Vance goes over there and tells Europe to its face that they seem to be edging on the edge of the table where the freedom to speak your mind (kind of a bedrock of Western Civ) is beginning to totter...along the edge. A little. I don't think he's wrong, but Lord "Haw Haw" Sumption begs to differ. You can read all about his titles, awards, money, and accomplishments here, but like a lot of educated people, I think his briefcase might be so full of dreck that it's left little room for common sense. Don't know for sure, but kind of sounds like it.

Of course, at the heart of the issue is Britain's new Online Safety Bill, which went into effect in 2023 and is enforced by Ofcom, a division of their federal system. The particulars of this bill, which is now law, can be looked over online, but the New York Times encapsulated it this way:

The Online Safety Bill, which also applies to terrorist propaganda, online fraud and child safety, is one of the most far-reaching attempts by a Western democracy to regulate online speech. About 300 pages long, the new rules took more than five years to develop, setting off intense debates about how to balance free expression and privacy against barring harmful content, particularly targeted at children.

The British law goes further than efforts elsewhere to regulate online content, forcing companies to proactively screen for objectionable material and to judge whether it is illegal, rather than requiring them to act only after being alerted to illicit content, according to Graham Smith, a London lawyer focused on internet law.

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So, the intent of the law certainly seems laudable. It's supposed to protect kids from online bullying to the point of suicide and prohibits speech that's designed to cause harm and harassment. Harm and harassment. That last part's a problem. As Britain has no First Amendment, it leaves their people vulnerable to the interpretations and sensibilities of those who might consider themselves harmed and harassed. Now, there's a lot of other stuff in this law, but it seems that the latter point is the one that gets the most attention from Americans and JD Vance, speaking for many of them.

Law such as this places the definition of "harm and harassment" squarely in the hands of legislators, plaintiffs, and cops. They get to decide what those subjectives mean. And if somebody complains that you called them something nasty, mean, or perhaps even racist, then you might just get picked up for having said or written....words.

Just words...Yes, the world that made Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones, but Words Can Never Hurt Me a real thing to help you roll over lIfe's potholes and a'holes, has now acquiesced to Words Are Actual Bullets That Can Physically End Your Life. So now, if you call someone over there a mean name, it is entirely possible that the Bobbies will show up at your flat and arrest you.

If that isn't bad enough, how about getting picked up for...Thoughts? This guy was 50 meters from an abortion clinic in London with his head bowed in prayer for the women and their babies inside of it. Not speaking, not yelling. Not Nothing. The clinic was the end-zone, and he was all the way back at the 50-yard line, sending silent thought impulses to The Almighty when the Bobbies came and cuffed him up. Cain't have that these days, guv.

Now Lord Sumption knows about these cases. He's not stupid, and he lives over there where news is reported every night, so he's not ignorant unless he lives inside a jar of peanut butter. He just doesn't seem to like what Vance said, so he's dismissive. There could be a lot of reasons for this, but who cares how untethered he is? The point is enough people there agree with him that these Orwellian laws were made. And Vance just said Europe is moving along toward SpeechSquash. He's right.. "60 Minutes" just interviewed a couple of German cops explaining how things now work in the place we once liberated from fascism. From the people who came up with Ve Haf Veys to Make You Talk, now bring you You Insult Online. You Now Kommen Mit Us.... Ja?!?

A minor bit of irony in all of this is that the "Lord," while denying Europe is denying free speech, had as his parting shot that the president we elected is an authoritarian ruler. That might be worth a future write-up, but I don't find that to be true at all. Methinks Lord Consumption is simply consuming something other than snuff in his gilt snuff box. Or maybe it's an historical case of generational trauma where his own country has been eclipsed by its child for the last 300 years. That would be sad. Most parents want to see their kids do better than they did. Except the bad ones, that is.