How I'm Learning to Trust God in 2023

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I’ve spent the last month mentally recuperating from one of the most grueling yet fulfilling moments of my life so far.


When I started on-the-ground coverage of the Arizona general election in September, I had no idea that I would become a regular member of one of the most highly-watched press pools in the nation. And for a college student, that’s objectively terrifying, even though I’m not exactly “brand new” to the media world.

Let’s just say, the pace began increasing quickly as the fall months melted into each other. I learned fast that I had to go beyond my own understanding of time management in order to balance work, school, a social life, and my mental health in order to make it through the election season.

After I’d already covered a Trump rally, a Senate debate, and numerous other events, I was reaching a feeling not of exhaustion, but of confusion. I could tell God was presenting me with one opportunity after another, yet I was terrified it would all come crashing down due to my own idiocy.

While I was driving up to my friend’s house the second week of October during our fall break, I was mulling over attending a press conference the next morning. Doing so would cut into some time with my friends, but I knew I would be missing something much bigger if I didn’t go. During that car ride, I turned the radio off, spent some time in silence on the highway, and borderline shouted something along the lines of, “God, what am I doing this for?” Almost immediately I was overcome with a feeling of security and reassurance that He would take care of me. I was reminded of Proverbs 3: 5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”


Miraculously, things had begun to sort themselves out when it came to my schedule. My friends were extremely supportive, so I went to that press conference, and clearly many, many more that month. Although it was the hardest semester of my college experience yet, I managed to get through the homework and maintained good enough grades. Admittedly, I did have a couple of professors wondering where the heck I was some days, as the best I could explain was that I had a “work thing.”

There was one particular class that I ran out of early to my professor’s dismay, as Kari Lake was holding a press conference outside the next university building over. That really speaks to the constant pressure and overwhelming feeling I was under, as I could not escape politics for the life of me, and I had no choice but to embrace it. I realized that my stamina is not going to be like this forever, so I might as well take advantage fast-paced campaign trail life while I can. I was not running on coffee or nicotine like the stereotypical reporter, just natural energy and ambition.

It was far from perfect, but I got through it. One thing that God gave me at that moment was the ability to discern my priorities. At times, I could not believe what I was saying yes to, whether it was a spontaneous trip to the southern border or running down to the Maricopa County Elections Center at a moment’s notice.


Perhaps most importantly, I’m grateful for the relationships I was able to form. I befriended everyone from reporters (some of whom you may love or hate) to sources that I would occasionally spar with, although it was all done with respect for the process and a greater sense of collegiality. I remember saying amid the post-election drama, “As much as I like covering this race, I’m sick of seeing everybody’s faces.”

Ultimately, I had to make sure that conservative media had a foot in the door in spaces where it would traditionally not be welcomed, like at Democratic events, and also understand the distrust for all media in the conservative spaces where we were already welcomed. Yes, I’ve been harassed before, but it’s not war, so I’m not going to go cry about it. It’s rarely ever personal, and it certainly was not in my case.

At the end of the day, it’s all about being kind to one another to the best of one’s ability, and I tried my hardest to live up to that standard. I learned how to “work heartily” for the Lord, as mentioned in Colossians 3:23.

I’ve spent the past month watching a lot more T.V. than having the looming anxiety that I would be on it without realizing. I don’t necessarily know what adventure God has planned for me in 2023, but I feel better equipped to trust Him now.



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