It's July 4, which means Americans everywhere are about to celebrate how awesome we are with BBQ, fireworks, beer, and slip n' slides. This is the day when every red-blooded patriot thanks God for being a beneficiary of the actions of a bunch of heavy drinking, liberty loving misfits who, in 1776, extended their middle fingers so high that England could see them from across the Atlantic.
But while we're all having a blast blasting colored gunpowder into the air and cracking cold ones over brisket just like the good Lord intended, the left is having a normal one.
According to Fox News, the Democrats are doing what they do best... complain very, very loudly:
Democrats across the country are organizing protests and boycotts on the 4th of July to make their voices heard that they do not agree with the direction the country is heading. A new Fox News poll showed that only 36% of Democrats say they are proud of the United States today, compared to 85% of Republicans expressing pride in their country. Now, in what some are calling the "No Kings 2.0" protests, Democrats are banding together in several states to lay out their grievances.
The Women’s March, whose mission is to "transform everyday women into feminists," is calling on protesters to join their "Free America Weekend."
"Together, we must ‘Free America’ from the grip of greedy billionaires who rig the system for themselves," the website states. "Let’s stop the rich and powerful from gambling our future away. Free America from poverty and end the rigged system where the wealthy live large while the middle class foots the bill. Everyone should be able to afford food, rent, health care, and a decent life. Free America from arbitrary firings and a flood of unlawful orders. No one should be subjected to authoritarians overwhelming us with policies designed to spread fear and control."
When I read that, the first thing that came to my mind was Norm Macdonald's legendary moment with Sarah Silverman during YouTube's comedy week.
"No offense, but it sounds like some f***ing commie gobbledegook," said McDonald, stunning Silverman.
*Language Warning*
Rest in peace, big guy.
I really do hope the left goes forward with this and with gusto, because I want people to see the difference between us and them.
We're celebrating the greatest nation in the world. One that gave birth to technological marvels from communication to medicine, has brought people from the gutter to the penthouse, and gave the world such incredible advancements as college football and the frozen margarita.
Our military is so great because of American grit, bravery and ingenuity mixed with our love of blowing stuff up so well that we lead the world in ass-kicking ability, and it's not even close. We have the number one Air Force in the world with over 5,000 aircraft. Can you guess who is number two?
Wrong.
It's us again. The Navy has around 2,500 aircraft.
We have a missile called the "Mother of all Bombs" who loves to give maternal hugs to terrorists when we feel they need some to feel the warm affection they never got as children. It's reported that those who feel her embrace never feel the need for hugs again.
Americans love America so much that we adopted the Imperial System or "freedom units," which confuses the world who uses the more simplistic metric system, and just to prove how awesome we are, we took our confusing system and went to the moon with it.
While we're celebrating all of this, the left will be whining, crying, screaming, and stomping their feet, proclaiming that the system that gave us John Madden and the Top Gun movies is a bad one. While we're wowing ourselves with rocket's red glare the left will be telling us we're celebrating on stolen land.
We won't be able to hear them over the boom of the fireworks and the sound of your third Shiner being cracked open, but the juxtaposition of their rage and your joy will perfectly highlight just how miserable you're not.
Because you're an American. A red meat eating, beer drinking, God-fearing, patriotic force of nature... and they're grown children who think that a system that killed millions of people has a point.
Happy 4th of July!
