Russia Breaks Out Latest Weapon To Use Against Its Enemies: Cuddly Puppies

Does Russia’s evil know no limits? Will their diabolical ambitions ever be sated? Likely not, as the first world’s drunk trashy cousin has resorted to using a weapon few can fight against. A weapon that breaks down defenses, and renders any person the weapon is unleashed against completely useless.



According to the Associated Press, Russia released a video of puppies being trained by the Russian military which they will undoubtedly unleash upon the U.S. and conquer us while we’re too busy melting, like some weird version of Red Dawn.

The Russian Armed Forces has unveiled its latest cutting-edge weapon in a New Year greetings video: cuddly puppies.

After a year of showing off its military might in Syria, the Defense Ministry has taken a softer approach. The one-minute video shows dozens of puppies sharing food and cuddling with each other. Older dogs are shown playing with unidentified officers.

Over 3,000 dogs are employed in the Russian armed forces.

Dogs from the 470th Dog Breeding Center outside Moscow are among the most decorated in Russia. The center won an international competition last summer against the canine forces of Belarus, Egypt, Iran and Uzbekistan.



The United States has yet to come up with a defense against such an attack, and it’s doubtful they will. Reports say that one Pentagon head suggested kittens in return, but that was swiftly rejected as kittens are highly inferior to the puppies in cuteness and playfulness.

The situation is so worrisome that Trump hasn’t even tweeted about it.

Here is the video below.

Kim Jong Un’s military parades only wish they could inspire so awe and spectacle.

May God help us all.


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