Virginia's Governor Abigail Spanberger, in a brief few weeks in office, has done everything to entrench herself as a serious Democrat. From shrieking about President Trump to hiking taxes up to helium balloon levels, she has made her bid. And now she has classically cemented her party bona fides; Abby has her own outdoor grilling disaster.
SEE ALSO: Spanberger Officially Pushes Virginia Off the Cliff Toward Sanctuary State Status
There are some curious traditions within the Democrat Party when it comes to appealing to the common man. These elitist simpletons believe that if they pander to the rabble and pretend to engage in the same activities as they do (while mocking said activities the rest of the year with their condescending acolytes, while cloistered in 5-star eateries), they will appeal to the leftist voting sheep in their districts.
One of these Dem customs is appearing at county or state fairs, and then recording themselves as they consume some kind of ghastly gastronomic offense into their oral cavity. They shame themselves by gorging on regional in-delicacies like deep-fried Oreos, bobcat jerky, or squirrel etoufe’, while mugging for the camera and declaring how much they savor the offerings. Then, when the cameras cut off, they dart for the campaign bus and have the traveling medic administer Epicac.
The other baffling common practice from these Democrats is pretending they are adept at the backyard practice of grilling. This never fails to be a glorious experience, beholding these dolts as they stand by an unfamiliar cooking station like it is a stump grinder and holding tongs as if they are a Medieval leech applicator. They peacock and pretend, “Hey, see? I’m just like you, fellow outdoor gourmands!” The results are dependably laughable, resembling the 'before' segment in a propane safety video, where the characters are later rolled in the grass to extinguish the flames.
The examples are legion. Cal Cunningham tanked his Senate bid in part by looking as natural beside a grill as a scarecrow. Hillary Clinton posed with pre-cooked steaks for a photo-op where you were certain she was handed index cards on how to pronounce “Bar-B-Q”. There was Kathy Hochul in a just-opened creased apron, holding a patty aloft as casually as if it were a pit viper that may strike. Kamala Harris was flipping burgers at the Iowa Fair, and her technique was as contorted as her meandering word salad responses. Tim Ryan at least displayed a dose of dexterity, if he failed at some rudimentary execution. He successfully flips a beef burger for the camera, but then places the same side of the patty back onto the grill plate. No matter, however, since as he did not think to have a fire going anyway.
The most infamous examples linger in our cortexes to this day. Gubernatorial goober Terry McAuliffe worked hard preparing for his promotional video, out on the deck for the 4th of July. He spent time getting the stars-and-stripes attire, pounds of meat were geometrically aligned on the grates, and a beer was serving as a movie prop. Everything was perfectly set up except that, just like Ryan, actually turning on the burners was not a consideration.
Happy July 4th, Virginia. This year is extra special. America is back.🇺🇸🇺🇸🍻🍺🌭🍔 pic.twitter.com/VrWKK9viAm
— Terry McAuliffe (@TerryMcAuliffe) July 3, 2021
But of course, the grand king of the outdoor pit bosses was none other than Chuck Schumer. Pretending he was engaged in a Father’s Day tradition out on the deck, there was Chuckles, posing with his meat wand. While leering for the lens, behind him were grey burger patties, uncooked, and already adorned with cheese. His understandably deleted attempt to draw voters was more likely to attract the Health Department.
— Nickarama (@nickaramaOG) June 17, 2024
Well, newly marinated Virginia Governor Abigail Spencer joins this enflamed group. Her state is currently awash in fecal waste, as a historically massive sewage burst is flooding the Potomac with millions of gallons of waste. So, of course, Abby felt this was the best time to be seen posturing over a grill. And all that can be said about her visage cloaked in a veil of smoke is, what - the-hell???
Order up! 🥩 pic.twitter.com/n69Rhrxt6V
— Governor Abigail Spanberger (@GovernorVA) February 12, 2026
Please, why are you even trying this?! Abigail has the demeanor of a woman who uses a letter opener on a box of Entemann’s donuts and then declares, “I cooked breakfast.” But what to make of this crime scene over the flames?
The flesh being charred does not resemble any type of conventional protein. The mystery quadruped supplying these portions looks to have been butchered using a weed whacker. This particular offering looks like what you may see at a campsite where a free-range rodent was prepared out of desperation with a pocket knife and skewers made of snapped-off pine twigs.
And sorry, but just what the HELL is going on here?!?! pic.twitter.com/m6PWzD7hPy
— Brad Slager: CNN+ Lifetime Subscriber (@MartiniShark) February 13, 2026
I have had bone-ribeye, but never have I grilled femur-in-flank wolverine cutlets. Governor Spanberger, this is going to generate proper public outrage; Virginians need to hold a “No Kingsford” protest march. You do not only have to remove this post – you need to delete your Weber.
These are the kind of precious memories the Democrats love to provide, and it is entirely expected from these charcoal charlatans. They strain to endear themselves to the unwashed gentry they otherwise avoid with more energy than ducking reporters, and fail to connect in an even remote fashion.
But what else can you expect, when you consider they have been lobbying for years against propane use and consuming red meat? They show that, in the desire to engage in a practice that is fundamentally American for them, it is a foreign concept.
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