Joe Biden wasn't done for the day after he shut down a press conference over questions about him and his son's business dealings. Soon enough, he was taking the stage at the White House Tribal Nations Summit, and perhaps he really should have been done for the day. 

Watching Biden speak is like watching a car accident in slow motion.

BIDEN: "Beers Ears" pic.twitter.com/epLiqT5wgc

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) December 6, 2023

BIDEN: I restored protections from my predecessor, gutted by my predecessor, um, at three national monuments. Grand staircase, and beers ears, bears ears. By the way, you want to know how that happened? I was in a plane and a little girl came up to me and she said, "Mr. President, can you take care of beers ears?" And I, I thought she said can I take care of her ears. And I said what honey, and she said, "beers ears is really important," and guess what, she was dead right, and we did take care of it. 

Let's assume that Biden didn't just make that story up on the spot to cover for the fact that he called a national monument considered sacred by dozens of Native American tribes "beers ears." Since when does the President of the United States fly on planes where he can just run into random little girls? He flies on Air Force One, not American Airlines, which makes his tale rather nonsensical.

It just strikes me as dumb and unnecessary. Why make something like that up? The same is true for this next clip. 

BIDEN: "I wanted to play lacrosse, but you had to choose between lacrosse and football ... I was the runner-up in the state scoring championship! Don't laugh, man!" pic.twitter.com/tTegipRvOL

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) December 6, 2023

Biden fibbing about his college sports career has happened several times during his presidency, but this may be a new take on it. Of note is that lacrosse is not played at the same time as football (one is in the spring, the other in the fall), and it's normal for people to play both sports. It would be odd for a school to force a student to choose between the two sports, and as some have mentioned, Jim Brown was famous for playing both football and lacrosse. 

Once again, Occam's razor says Biden is just making things up again. And why not? It's not like the "fact-checkers" are going to bother fact-checking him. He's got immunity, and he knows it. After all, we are talking about a guy who got away with making up a story about awarding his uncle a Purple Heart during a family ceremony, even going so far as to make up quotes of what the uncle supposedly said. The problem was, of course, that the uncle in question had died well over a decade earlier. 

As I mentioned in a recent piece, the problem with being senile is that it makes you a bad liar. Don't forget to clap, though.

BIDEN: Please clap pic.twitter.com/pBxUww2DWk

— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) December 6, 2023

To hear Biden tell it, he parachuted in and personally saved these monuments from sure destruction. The reality is that they were never in danger in the first place. To the extent that any national monument has been touched on paper, it was to reduce the hundreds of square miles around them under government control. Land grabs by expanding "monuments" out to absurd limits were a common tactic of the Obama administration. Donald Trump was not trying to blow up Bears Ears. 

I shouldn't have to point that out because it should be obvious, but when you have a president who habitually can't tell the truth, it forces my hand. His silly pandering aside, at least we can all get a good laugh, at least in the "This is so terrible that all I can do is laugh" kind of way.