The mainstream press flood the zone daily with ridiculous takes, but sometimes one jumps out at you so much that it’s worth responding to. That’s the case with this alter-reality screed published at Yahoo News by Alexander Nazaryan.

Apparently, unbeknownst to the entirety of the Republican voter base, there’s a battle to the death going on between Ron DeSantis and Larry Hogan for the future of the GOP.

In Hogan v. DeSantis, a battle for the future of the GOP.https://t.co/3YhiYXr0tj

— Alexander Nazaryan (@alexnazaryan) February 26, 2021

It’s Friday, so I’m gonna go heavy on the gif usage and frame my response this way.

Anyway, let’s talk some substance.

On no planet is Larry Hogan in a battle for anything but peak position in the buffet line. If you were to imagine a Republican more out of step with the party, and with a more non-existent sphere of influence, you’d first think of Adam Kinzinger and Mitt Romney, but then you’d think of Larry Hogan. That’s how little he factors into the future of the GOP.

And while some will want to just handwave away opposition to the Maryland governor as a tit for tat over his anti-Trump stance, Hogan’s track record as a politician is enough to reject him regardless. Currently, Maryland is last in the nation in in-person schooling. You might ask how that’s possible in a state with a Republican governor. The answer, which I explained in a recent article, is that Hogan is a political coward. He’s unwilling to use the power he has to ensure what’s best for children because he fears the blowback of his mostly blue state’s electorate. Does that sound anything like the future of the Republican Party to you?

“In Arkansas v. Alabama, a battle for the SEC West.”

Same energy. https://t.co/YxTkbJ1n7W

— Anna James Zeigler (@ajzeigler) February 26, 2021

Of course, other aspects of Nazaryan’s article are just flat out wrong, as well. For example, DeSantis absolutely appeals to moderates in the party despite the fact that he also appeals to Trump supporters. That’s the reason he’s rocketed into the discussion for 2024. DeSantis has shown himself to be a competent, disciplined leader who can still mix it up with the press and speak his mind. Hogan has shown himself to be a squish who can’t even be counted on to take a firm stance on gun rights or against abortion. He also rejects Trump’s foreign policy, another litmus test at this point that any possible nominee will have to pass.

While DeSantis represents nearly everything the base wants going forward, Hogan represents none of it. When 2024 rolls around, DeSantis will be battling near the top while Hogan will be stuck at the kiddie table debate. He’ll eventually drop out to much gnashing of teeth from the beltway elites, but his demise will have been well earned.

Republicans are not interested in Jeb Bush 2.0, nor any politician that makes CNN contributors squee. Hogan as the future of the GOP is not a thing, nor can it be willed into existence, and while I don’t know exactly who will be the nominee a little over three years from now, I know who it won’t be.