Safety Is the Bomb: Government's Nuclear Blast Survival Guide Includes COVID-19 Precautions

What would you do if there were a nuclear attack?

Your worst fears may have come to life; the Earth’s very future might appear unsure.

Fret not: Our government will fireman’s-carry you into tomorrow.

Courtesy of Ready.gov/nuclear-explosion, Uncle Sam gives guidance on exactly what to do in the event of a nuclear nightmare.

The detonation of a fusion-based weapon, the site points out, “can cause significant damage and casualties from blast, heat, and radiation.”

Still, “You can keep your family safe by knowing what to do…”

So listen up — your very survival depends on it.

First, recognize the threat:

A nuclear weapon is a device that uses a nuclear reaction to create an explosion.

Nuclear devices range from a small portable device carried by an individual to a weapon carried by a missile.

A nuclear explosion may occur with or without a few minutes warning.

“Fallout,” you should know, “is most dangerous in the first few hours after the detonation when it is giving off the highest levels of radiation.”

It takes time for fallout to arrive back to ground level, often more than 15 minutes for areas outside of the immediate blast damage zones. This is enough time for you to be able to prevent significant radiation exposure by following [some simple steps].

Stay focused:

Get inside the nearest building to avoid radiation.

Remove contaminated clothing and wipe off or wash unprotected skin.

Stay inside for 24 hours unless local authorities provide other instructions.

Family should stay where they are inside.

But don’t lose your sense of scale: Sure — your world may have just been unfathomably obliterated; all of existence might be hanging by a thread.

Even so, there’s no excuse for myopia.

Other life-or-death matters loom.

In the wake of cataclysmic missile-delivered destruction, the Biden Administration orders you to take precautions against COVID-19.

You may be in for a nuclear winter, but don’t forget that’s cold season.

So shelter smartly:

Stay away from the outer walls and roof. Try to maintain a distance of at least six feet between yourself and people who are not part of your household. If possible, wear a mask if you’re sheltering with people who are not a part of your household.

“If you are sick or injured,” the manual makes clear, “listen for instructions on how and where to get medical attention when authorities tell you it is safe to exit.”

And if you’re “experiencing a medical emergency,” by all means call 9-1-1.

But take great heed:

Let the operator know if you have, or think you might have, COVID-19. If you can, put on a mask before help arrives.

It’s an annoying situation — you’re already scared to absolute death of the virus, and then the peskiness of atomic annihilation buzzes ’round your N-95’d head:

Know that it’s normal to feel anxious or stressed. Take care of your body and talk to someone if you are feeling upset. Many people may already feel fear and anxiety about the coronavirus 2019 (COVID-19). The threat of a nuclear explosion can add additional stress. Follow CDC guidance for managing stress during a traumatic event and managing stress during COVID-19.

And this is where we are. These are the priorities and sensibilities of the day.

To someone somewhere in our massive bureaucracy, it made sense that somehow, the anxiety from a nuclear attack might be matched — if not exceeded — by concern over the coronavirus.

As a reminder, America’s COVID-19 survivability — before any vaccine was available — measured thusly:

0-19 years: 99.99997

20-49 years: 99.9998

50-69 years: 99.995

70+ years: 99.946

What’s the mortality rate if a foreign entity tries to blow us to smithereens?

If I had to guess, I’d bet select Americans might consider ionizing nuclear atrocity a bit of a pandemic-dwarfer.

Whichever hits you harder, another plague may be at play. As if the combination of SARS-CoV-2 and The Sum of All Fears wasn’t bad enough, because it’s nuclear, there remains an alleged third threat.

And if our insitutions are to be believed, it’s even worse than the other two.

Beware the mushroom cloud of white supremacy: