Other than my article on the Democratic Socialists of America, this may be the most bizarre thing you see today (here).

If it isn’t, you have a really interesting life. Touché.

In Rio de Janeiro, gang leader Clauvino da Silva — otherwise known as “Shorty” — attempted a prison escape Friday via an incredible charade: He disguised himself as his daughter.

The dude assumed he could just get so cute that people’d think he was a 19-year-old girl.

You know how you do.

I mean, you’re a guy who’s already wearing a pink T-shirt with cartoon hearts and donuts on it; you’re already sportin’ supertight jeans. Your long black wig’s already there…

Might as well just pull on that silicone mask and give it a go.

All of that was part of the disguise for Shorty. And honestly, it didn’t look half bad:

BOTCHED ESCAPE ATTEMPT: Brazilian gang leader Clauvino da Silva’s plan to break out of a Rio de Janeiro prison was foiled over this past weekend … but take a look at how he planned to make his great escape. pic.twitter.com/uuAI3tPKET

— CBSDenver (@CBSDenver) August 5, 2019

But it also didn’t look half good.

🙁

Unfortunately, the Red Command leader couldn’t quite reach Mission Impossible heights.

via GIPHY

Tom Cruise coulda totally gotten away with it. But that’s why he’s Tom Cruise, and not at all Shorty. Hey, wait…

Either way, da Silva — whose group controlled drug trafficking in a large section of Rio de Janeiro — has been transferred to a maximum-security prison and is facing potential discipline.

I have a recommendation for Clauvino if he wants to actually complete the breakout next time. Go for the Gold, Shorty:

via GIPHY

No one’s gonna tell that guy he can’t leave.

Have any other suggestions?

I’d love to hear ’em in the Comments section.

-ALEX

Relevant RedState links in this article: here.

See 3 more pieces from me:

13-Time Felon Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Testicles While Carrying Drugs In His Anus – As You Do

Women In Vancouver Lose Their Businesses As A Man Tries To Legally Force Them Into Waxing His LadyScrotum

Insane Argument Involving 2 Men Wielding A Bat & A Gun Explodes On The Subway. A Bystander Gets Fed Up (VIDEO)

Find all my RedState work here.

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