$74K Chinese Robot 'Wolves' vs. American Grunts: Smart Money's on the Grunts

AP Photo/Fabian Bimmer

China, that bastion of creativity and truthfulness (yes, I'm kidding), is claiming to now have a cutting-edge new piece of military hardware, that being a four-legged robot dog that can carry a variety of weapons. The Chinese developers are calling these things "wolves."

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Yeah, right.

China’s showing off a new combat robot mutt they call a “wolf.” America’s gun owners who have seen the videos no doubt pondered the obvious question: What caliber would solve that problem should any of us be lucky enough to live where a shipping container of these so-called “super-soldiers” are set loose?

Just like those flashy Temu-grade Chinese air defenses that flopped so spectacularly in Venezuela and Iran, Beijing’s latest combat wolves are likely all hat and no cattle. There’s a reason Harbor Freight hasn’t sent a manned rocket into orbit: junk looks great in promo videos, but real life won’t allow people to add some airbrushing or CGI to remedy the shortcomings.

Sure, these quadruped “wolf packs” strut around with machine guns, grenade launchers, micro-missiles, and allegedly obstacle-clearing mobility. They appear to have a “collective brain” for swarming coordination. The salesmen have their scripts ready: Robots supposedly clear streets in minutes, humans chill in the rear, and attrition shifts to drone-vs-bot playdates with lower body counts. The magic elixir for urban combat!

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Now, as it happens, I have some questions.

First: Assuming these things are running at least semi-autonomously, how will they be able to differentiate between friend and foe? Will they be taught which uniforms each side is wearing? That would seem to be a bad mistake, as the other guys could just switch shirts and completely bollix these "wolves."

Second: What's the power supply on one of these things? How long will it last in combat operations? How will it be recharged in the field?

Third: We see, in the video above, robot "wolves" running around on well-maintained city streets. How will they fare in the field? Will they be able to navigate rough, rocky terrain? Heavy vegetation? 

I suspect these robot "wolves" are nowhere near ready for prime time.


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Look, I've been out of uniform for a long time, but I spent some time around 11 Bravos, enough to have some idea how they think, and I think most grunts would have a field day with these things. While one 5.56mm round in a knee joint would halt one of these wolfbots, there are many other fun ways to reduce them to a non-threat. An M2 .50 caliber would send a bunch of these robo-wolves a new program command: "Leap fifty feet into the air, fly apart, and scatter yourself over a wide area." You will have seen the video, where the carrier opens up, and a bunch of these murderbots slowly debark. Now, imagine plopping a 40mm grenade in that hatch the moment it opens.

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I suspect China's worried about their upcoming demographic crash, and is looking for ways to make up for the lack of young men. And, I have to admit, fielding a bunch of these may show down the reactions of an opposing American force - by making them fall to the ground laughing.

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