President Donald Trump (won't get tired of typing that for a long time) has done so much, so fast, that it's hard to believe. He's 78 years old but seems to have the energy of a much younger man. He has signed a huge host of executive orders, many of them revoking the previous administration's policies. He has engaged the press in free-wheeling, unscripted conversations. He has visited Hurricane Helene victims in North Carolina and wildfire victims in California, all while his cabinet nominations are flowing through the pipeline.

He hasn't even been in office a week yet. The man is a flippin' prodigy. So much so, in fact, that we sometimes forget that there was another guy who served four years as president, and in between the two non-consecutive Trump terms, at that. 

What was his name again? Oh, yeah. Joe Biden. Except, of course, we're pretty sure now that befuddled old Joe wasn't really in charge. Commentator, radio host, and podcaster Jason Rantz has some thoughts as to who may have been running the show.

House Speaker Mike Johnson dropped a bombshell about a January 2024 meeting in which Biden was apparently stunned to learn he had signed an executive order halting liquefied natural gas exports just weeks earlier. He repeatedly denied even knowing about it. Johnson believed Biden didn’t know what he signed, leaving him with a terrifying question: "Who is running the country?"

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t Biden. And to answer Johnson’s question, there are at least five shadowy figures who might have been behind the wheel — or rather, letting the car roll downhill with no one on the brakes.

Mr. Rantz lists some possibilities, including former President Barack Obama, Frau Doktor Professor Jill Biden, Chief of Staff Jeff Zients, National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan, and some anonymous Gen Z staffer or staffers. My money is on the former First Lady and other members of the Biden clan, including ne'er-do-well son Hunter, as they had the most to gain by keeping old Joe more-or-less upright and awake.

But you know what's great? We don't have to worry about that anymore. It does prompt the question, though: What will old Joe do now? There are a few possibilities, of course.

1) Guest-starring in the "Matlock" reboot. There's a problem there; this would require some ability to read, retain, and regurgitate a script. Then again, Joe has been reading carefully scripted events for some time now, and we suspect he has some experience in regurgitation, as well.

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2) Fingerpainting. This seems a hobby well within Joe's current level of ability, and he could always rely on his artist son Hunter for lessons, as fingerpaints are about the level of Hunter's notoriously expensive artworks.

3) Dessicating to a husk on Rehoboth Beach. Let's face it: In this task, Joe is already well on his way.

It's not as though the former president is suited for much else. He has no role in Democratic Party politics, not after his disastrous debate performance against Donald Trump, not after his insistence on approving the Queen of Word Salads to take his place on the top of the ticket, not after his many embarrassing performances. That's just as well, as he's clearly not capable. And as for the leftist legacy media, it's doubtful even MSNBC would touch him, and if there is any network that obviously doesn't require an IQ test for its on-screen "talent," it's MSNBC.

In conclusion, though, I can only say this: He can do whatever he likes, as long as he's nowhere near the White House. He's gone, retired to a life of... whatever, and that's good enough.