Tired of the Status Quo? How About 'Literally Anybody Else' for President?

Sometimes, you just have to break out of the same old routine.

That would appear to be the intent of a Texas man, formerly Dustin Ebey, who has legally changed his name and is running for President of the United States as "Literally Anybody Else." I've gotta admit; I've been watching politics like a lot of folks watch sports since the late '70s, and this is a new one.

"In a landscape marred by the shadows of corruption and partisan gridlock, it’s time to break free from familiar shackles and demand something different. I believe that humans are not only rational but also moral beings, driven by a deep-seated sense of fairness and justice," Else wrote on his campaign's website.
Else is looking to receive 113,000 signatures from Texas non-primary voters before a May deadline to secure his name on the general election ballot. Should he fail to do so, Else is urging his supporters to write in his name under the "neither" option.
"I never really had a desire to actually be president. It’s just, I want good leadership. This country deserves good leadership and we've fallen so far short of that goal that I felt like if nobody was going to stand up and at least make the message, it was going to be me," Else told FOX TV stations, according to Fox 11.

Mr. Else (OK, that's awkward, but I'm just going to power through it) would appear to have some good points, in addition to carrying what I can only assume is an act of epic trolling of the political system. Not only is it tempting to vote for the one guy who would rather not have the job, but an appeal by a Texas middle school teacher and Army vet for a "return to normalcy," coming as it does from a guy who, on the surface, pretty much exemplifies "normal," well, that's fairly compelling.

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But (as always) there's a catch. You can see Literally Anyone Else's campaign website here. And some of his policies, while he proclaims himself as wanting to break the status quo, are pretty much status quo positions — for the left. A couple of examples:

Access to quality healthcare is a right, not a privilege. But it’s not just about having insurance; it’s about having enough healthcare providers to serve our communities. I’ll work to increase the number of healthcare professionals in underserved areas, ensuring everyone has access to the care they need.

No. This is wrong. Healthcare is not and cannot be a right. A right is something that the government is prohibited from interfering with — as in, the right to free speech, or the right to bear arms. A "right" to healthcare would imply that, for one person to exercise that "right," someone else must be compelled to surrender a portion of the fruits of their labor to pay for it. Advocate for government-run healthcare if you like; make your argument that it's a luxury that a wealthy, developed society can afford. I can't agree, but at least it's an honest argument. (We are developed but not wealthy — not with $34 trillion in debt)

Our tax plan rewards hard work and success by reducing the percentage of income you pay in taxes as you earn more. It supports small businesses, simplifies taxes, rewards innovation, and promotes environmental responsibility. It’s all about creating a fair and balanced tax system.

This statement is, essentially, content-free, except for the vague statement of reducing the percentage of income one pays in taxes as one earns more. I have no idea what Mr. Else's tax proposals would look like, based on this statement.

Housing should be a place to call home, not a financial burden. I’ll tackle the housing affordability crisis by supporting policies that increase affordable housing options and help first-time homebuyers achieve their dreams.

Again, another government proposal to meddle in markets, which never ends well — and, where housing is concerned, both parties are guilty of it. There is, of course, one proven way to increase the supply of affordable housing — liberalize (in the original sense) land-use and zoning laws to allow developers to produce what the market needs. As Ayn Rand's hero, John Galt, famously shouted to the government officials of his world, "Get the hell out of my way!"

Policy statements aside, of course, Literally Anyone Else has about as much chance of being elected president as I do of spontaneously sprouting wings and flying to Jupiter. This is a combination of publicity stunt and joke candidacy, nothing more. But the idea of having "Literally Anybody Else" as a ballot choice, now that's interesting. But I think I have a better idea — how about "None of the Above?"