If you were trying to drive the last few productive people out of California, what would you do differently than what Governor Gavin Newsom and the California legislature are already doing?

Never mind, that's a rhetorical question. It's hard to see what anyone could do to make things any worse; but just when one invokes "things can't get worse," Worse pops up and says, "Hold my beer!" And Worse has certainly reared its head, with the list of new laws set to take effect in the once-and-former Golden State in 2024. Here are a few of the... well, worst.

The first one hits landlords. If there are any left.

Renters rejoice: As of July 1, 2024, you no longer need to save up more than two months’ rent to put down a security deposit. Assembly Bill 12 limits landlords of unfurnished residential properties to asking for one month’s rent as the deposit. Landlords with one or two rental properties, totaling no more than four rental units, are exempt from the law.

Prediction: This will have a chilling effect on landlords, but the worst part is that it will disproportionately hit high-risk rental units; that is, those rented to low-income people least able to afford a large deposit. But, you'd think that would help these people, right? But you have to look at it from the point of view of the landlord; unable to attenuate the risk of renting these units to their typical tenants, they may well instead just bail on the whole prospect. Result: Fewer rental units available for low-income renters.

Now, on to bathrooms.

As of New Year’s Day, any single-occupancy bathroom in every business across California must now put up an all-genders sign on the door. “Restrooms are a necessity of life, and access to them influences our ability to participate in public life,” California Assemblymember Phil Ting, bill author, said in a statement. “Restricting access to single-occupancy restrooms by gender creates problems of safety, fairness, and convenience.”

Wait, wait - this bill - soon to be a law - only affects single-occupancy bathrooms. It's right there in the description. Why would a single-occupancy bathroom, what we used to refer to as a "one-holer," need any sign at all? If only one person can occupy the bathroom at a time, what difference does it make? This is, again, a stupid solution looking for a problem that doesn't exist.

This one's been coming for a while now:

Senate Bill 407, written by state Sen. Scott Wiener, hopes to prevent LGBTQ foster children from being placed in homes with unsupportive caregivers, through more stringent vetting of potential foster parents. The new law requires potential families to “demonstrate an ability and willingness to meet the needs of a child, regardless of the child’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.”

What about straight kids? Will foster parents with traditional families now be excluded? How will this screening work? The California government hasn't exactly been friendly to traditional parents in the last few years, although there have been a few flashes of sanity. This is long on rhetoric and short on detail.

And the grand finale:

In perhaps the strangest piece of legislation of the year, California now has an official state mushroom (“Mushrooms are important for both wildlife and people,” the bill’s text reads). Joining the poppy, redwood and bear flag is the California golden chanterelle. If you’re a hiker or a forager, you already know all about the fan-shaped, orangey fungi. They’re found below oak trees and are particularly common after rainy weather.

Because, of course, every other problem afflicting California has been solved, the legislature spends their time and the taxpayer's money deciding on a state mushroom. What's wrong with these people? One might suspect the California legislature, when deciding this vital issue, may have been under the influence of a different kind of mushroom.

California is crashing. People are fleeing. And it's a shame because the area has a lot going for it. 

But at least they have a state mushroom. Everyone in the once-Golden State can breathe a sigh of relief now that's decided.