Yesterday, the first “leaked” excerpts of James Comey’s new book, A Higher Loyalty, came out. And no one could be disappointed. If you didn’t like Trump, you were gratified by the energetic slams Comey applied. If you think Comey is a lying crapweasel, your opinion was vindicated. If you are like most of us, you probably didn’t learn a lot about either man that hasn’t been made plain as day over the past year but it provided some chuckles and snorts and a few guffaws.

Trump’s hand size

“it was smaller than mine, but did not seem unusually so.”

Trump’s appearance:

“His face appeared slightly orange, with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assume he placed small tanning goggles, and impressively coiffed, bright blond hair, which on close inspection looked to be all his. I remember wondering how long it must take him in the morning to get that done.”

The Golden Shower episode:

“He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’ … adding that it bothered him if there was ‘even a 1 percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought it was true,”

Trump as mob boss:

Via Fortune:

He describes “the circle of assent. The boss in complete control. The loyalty oaths. The us-versus-them worldview. The lying about things, large and small, in service to some code of loyalty that put the organization above morality and above the truth.”

Of Trump’s now famous loyalty demand in particular, Comey writes, “the demand was like Sammy the Bull’s Cosa Nostra induction ceremony.”

“I sat there thinking, holy crap, they are trying to make each of us an ‘amica nostra’—a friend of ours,” Comey continues. “To draw us in. As crazy as it sounds, I suddenly had the feeling that, in the blink of an eye, the president-elect was trying to make us all part of the same family.”

Trump and loyalty:

Comey calls Trump’s leadership “transactional, ego driven, and about personal loyalty” and the president himself “unethical, and untethered to truth and institutional values.”

And lots more.

The details in this Comey book are crazy. pic.twitter.com/kdzTsJgCZY

— jon gabriel (@exjon) April 13, 2018

EVERYONE. This page by Jon Gabriel is SATIRE.

This morning, Trump answered back on Twitter.

James Comey is a proven LEAKER & LIAR. Virtually everyone in Washington thought he should be fired for the terrible job he did-until he was, in fact, fired. He leaked CLASSIFIED information, for which he should be prosecuted. He lied to Congress under OATH. He is a weak and…..

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 13, 2018

This is how Comey describes a meeting with Barack Obama after the November election.

It's the "On the verge of tears" that makes this. pic.twitter.com/Q23sWahaK6

— Ben Domenech (@bdomenech) April 12, 2018

Or, as former RedStater Thomas Crown puts it:

"Dad?" he asked, his voice trembling.
"Yes, Jim," Barack replied, his resonant timbre settling Jim's soul.
"I love you, Dad," Jim choked out, unashamed of the tears trailing, one by one, down his face.
"I love you too, Jim. Now chin up and keep up the good work." https://t.co/EevV2hrSue

— (((≠))) (@ThomasHCrown) April 12, 2018

So weak? My fact check says “True” but YMMV.

….untruthful slime ball who was, as time has proven, a terrible Director of the FBI. His handling of the Crooked Hillary Clinton case, and the events surrounding it, will go down as one of the worst “botch jobs” of history. It was my great honor to fire James Comey!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 13, 2018

This is how Comey describes his decision to release the letter about the reboot of the Clinton email investigation, the letter that is blamed by Clinton’s fan club for her losing the election

@Comey admits he may have hidden discovery of Hillary classified emails on Weiner laptop if he thought Trump had a shot to win. pic.twitter.com/xzm6uEhx4f

— Robert Barnes (@Barnes_Law) April 13, 2018

If Comey's decision to release the letter on Oct. 28 was influenced by his interpretation of the polls, that really ought to cut against his image as an honorable, principled decision-maker. Instead, he was just being expedient and trying to save his own hide.

— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) April 13, 2018

I don’t think what I’ve seen of Comey’s memoir makes me actually believe that he ever had a higher calling than arrogation of power and protecting the FBI’s institutional prerogatives. It doesn’t paint Trump in a flattering way, but the stuff Comey talks about is petty and cruel, sort of like a 13-year-old girl bullying a classmate over not wearing the correct brand of sneakers.

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/984598362585432065