LGGBDTTTIQQAAPPDOOOOOOOOM

Just when you thought you knew what all the letters in LGBTQ stood for, Canada — that cold nation to the north with the attractive prime minister who can cry on cue as well as anyone trained in Hollywood — has to go and make things even more complicated.

The Canadian Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario, in order to “reduce staff anxiety and stress” of teachers faced with a student population that only kind of identifies as maybe partly heterosexual, has made available a seminar on LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP.

For those not in the know, that’s — Lesbian, Gay, Genderqueer, Bisexual, Demisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Two-Spirit, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Ally, Pansexual, Polyamorous.

*sigh*

At risk of sounding insensitive, things have maybe gotten a tad out of hand on the social justice frontier when the majority of people have absolutely zero clue just exactly who’s being potentially discriminated against.

Serious question: If you don’t know what demisexual is — or that it, in fact, exists at all — how can you hate it?

In any event, the flyer assures anyone curious about the gibberish it contains that these are real sexual preferences and teachers must be prepared to answer questions and comfort students that will definitely be discriminated against because they’ve chosen a “two-spirit” sexual orientation.

“Fewer than 1 percent ETFO members are open with their identities, so some surveys suggest as much as half of the public secretly identifies as LGBT to some extent*,” A flier for the seminar said. “If we want to reduce staff anxiety and stress, we need to create a much more welcoming and accepting environment.”

The asterisk refers readers to this study. When asked to put themselves on a “sexuality scale,” 23% of British people choose something other than 100% heterosexual — and the figure rises to 49% among 18-24 year olds.

Of course the internet did its thing:

If the inclusiveness police don’t knock it off soon, people will stop taking them seriously — if this isn’t crossing the legitimacy line, it’s certainly playing tightrope with it — and the people they are presumably trying to help will be the ones lost in the joke.

Surely that’s not the goal.