I want to stress that I wasn't, in reality, alone at the time. I had my sisters, friends and neighbors, mom's incredible medical team, and, of course, God, the latter of whom I have leaned on a lot over the years, especially the last three or so.

READ MORE -->> Caregiver's Diary Part 20: The Power of Prayer

With that in mind, one might think, "How could you feel alone?"

What it boils down to is that, as stressed and anxious and vulnerable as I was, my mind would sometimes play tricks on me. Progressively, the treatments really took their toll on her. One of the medications being administered to her caused temporary neuropathy in her feet and fingertips, and it was at its most acute during and in the immediate aftermath of each treatment.

There were many times in the middle of the night that I would get up with her when she had to go to the bathroom because I wanted to make sure she didn't fall.  I had to do a lot more for her in general during the course of her treatments because chemo is not very kind to your body, and she was tired a lot.

I didn't mind doing whatever it took to help her, but there were times when it truly felt like it was just us against the world, and there were many times I would pray to God and again ask him how could this happen to her? The most selfless and loving woman on the planet and she had to battle an awful disease like colon cancer at the age of 79, and just months after we had lost my dad, who she had been a caregiver to for close to a decade.

Though my faith wasn't shaken, it just didn't seem fair, and that was even with the thought in mind that cancer doesn't discriminate. I was angry, hurt, and scared a lot, and would sometimes retreat into my bubble, feeling helpless that I couldn't do anything to make her better beyond what I already was.

SEE ALSO -->> Caregiver's Diary Part 22: The Struggle Is Real

But whether one is the patient or caregiver in these types of scenarios, we are not alone. There are so many in this world who have either been through or who are going through similar experiences, dealing with similar challenges and struggles, at times feeling hopeless and unsure of what the future holds.

If you have no family members or friends to lean on (or just don't feel comfortable doing so), there are online and offline support groups galore, places one can travel to, call, or log into to share their stories with people who will understand with compassion. And if you don't want to do any talking, there are books you can read and videos you can watch that are done by people in similar circumstances.

I've mostly lurked at the online forums, but recently came across the YouTube channel of a woman who was diagnosed a year and a half ago with a rare nasal cancer when she was about eight months pregnant.  

She has been in and out of hospitals and doctors' offices so many times (including to have her left eye removed), and there was a period of several weeks where she had to leave her infant child in the care of her family because she had to go away for treatments.

A lot of what she's talked about on her channel has resonated with me on the caregiver side of things. The disbelief. The emotional roller coaster. Having to come to terms with the "new normals."  Along with that, for me, have come feelings of guilt for not being able to do more for someone who has been there for me through thick and thin.

Watching this woman's channel reminded me all over again that no matter what you're going through in life, you shouldn't feel alone, even though in the wee hours of the night when you're looking at the starry sky from your bedroom window, crying your eyes out, it certainly feels like you are. You're not, and please don't ever forget that.

RELATED: To read my previous Caregiver's Diary entries, please click here.