The Pit of Misery! Dilly Dilly!

(Bud Light via AP)

We’re all in the Pit of Misery now. I know this because I watched the DNC the last two nights, and I heard all about it. America is a smoking ruin. No one has a job. In fact no one will ever have a job again unless we get rid of that awful Trump. Those few Americans who have not yet died from the virus have no health care. Poor immigrant mothers who were separated from their families by being deported during the Clinton Administration, and then deported again under Obama after they snuck back in, have been deported yet again by Trump. He is so cruel. He doesn’t care.

Our crops are destroyed, the fields barren. The climate is so disrupted that cyclonic windstorms cross the Atlantic, bringing thunder and rain to Florida and Mississippi at the height of Summer. Even our Post Office, once the envy of the world, delivers only half as much mail now as it did when Bill Clinton was President.

I call this “the Clinton campaign.” Remember her? Same act: a laundry list of things that aren’t the way humans wish they were. We voters were supposed to connect the dots and realize that if we voted for Hillary, the clouds would vanish, the birds would sing, and everyone would be a millionaire. For some reason not enough people believed that, and she didn’t win.

Now here they come, trying it again. You’re supposed to be afraid of this. Be afraid of that. Disease will get you. The Sun will burn you up. The wolf is coming, you can hear him breathing. The only thing that can save you is new politicians, our politicians. Elect this guy, and the virus will be gone. Jobs glorious jobs will droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. I guess people used to fall for stuff like this, but I don’t think enough of them do anymore that you can win an election with it. If that stuff worked, Hillary would have been running against Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio. Didn’t the Democrats learn anything from the 2016 election?

Joe Biden tells us that he will not only get rid of the virus and send the children back to school, he and Barack gifted the incoming Trump Administration with a plan to do just that. I checked, and the Washington Post did give him an award for this:

Biden leaves the impression he had offered more specific plans to combat the virus. He did not say back in January that it was a pandemic, only that it was a possibility. Moreover, he did not specifically call for social-distancing measures as early as March 1 or even March 8, though he implies that he did. Biden earns Two Pinocchios.

Everyone who watched the Democratic convention has commented that it was almost totally devoid of policy proposals or suggested measures to tackle any issue. It was an unmoored word salad of trials and tribulations… quite literally a Pit of Misery. And when it wasn’t your misery… or his… or hers… it was Joe’s. Joe has suffered much. Oh, has Joe suffered. They even showed us a slickly-made video of Joe suffering. Hey, I get the ‘tragic loss’ thing. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 15. But I’ve never thought that qualified me for high office. Joe is a victim, to be sure, and I guess that’s important in the Democratic Party. But I don’t think it’s important in the White House.

The few ideas that were offered to assuage our misery have either already been done by Trump, or are — like Biden himself — almost eighty years old. Every election, including this one, the Democrats trot out FDR’s New Deal construction programs as the pinnacle of job creation. I’ve seen pictures of those programs at work. Here are a thousand guys with wheelbarrows hauling dirt. What might have been a jobs program for a nation of manual laborers in 1939 is today done by one guy with a dump truck and another guy driving a front loader. And a good thing, too, because during Joe’s lifetime this has become a nation of paper pushers knowledge workers who would die before digging a ditch. Yet here comes Biden in 2020, selling government-funded construction projects as the cure for what ails us.

Biden will also put an end to the virus by “deploying millions of instant tests on Day One.” Psst: there are already millions of instant tests out there. Most doctors don’t think much of them. Of course they don’t. No one on this Earth had ever seen this virus before late last year. The people who design these tests and figure out how to make them in volume are scientists and engineers, not magicians. Maybe a year from now the instant tests will be as accurate as the 45-minute tests. But not now.

The Democrats even had the nerve to send a Tammy to the podium to tell us her tale of woe from being a child with a pre-existing condition. As full of misery as that is, you’d think the Democrats would crow about having addressed that issue ten years ago. In theory, they should be proud of it. Instead they’d rather soak you in another bucket of misery. The whole time she talked, I was hearing the voice of Higgins. “There we were, surrounded on all sides by greedy insurance companies. And I had a pre-existing condition. We were doomed.”

Is this form of campaigning effective? Can you win an election in the 21st Century by telling people that the nation is miserable? And if you personally are not miserable, it’s only because you don’t understand how bad everything is? I don’t think that approach works anymore. Hillary tried exactly that… and it flopped. She had a 93% chance of winning the election, and she lost.

Can the Democrats even change this style? It has become part of who they are. They were all doing it, all through the convention. They are all about misery, and victimhood, and fearsome threats behind every tree. Who wants to live in a place like that? Nobody volunteers for the Pit of Misery.