Hillary Rodham Is to James Buchanan as The GOP is to ______?


You should probably listen to this speech with headphones*. It pertains to selling real estate, but it could easily be adapted to competitive politics.

You either care about winning and doing what you promised or you are just gliding through life. Politicians are like intestinal bacteria. They either help you digest or they just steal your (expletive) lunch. If GOP contains far more parasites than useful organisms, it may be time for it to go the way of The Whigs.

This election is a good opportunity to put the GOP to just that Darwin Test. It’s true of this election in particular, because the Democrats are reconciled to nominating the least qualified human being to run for President that they could possibly find– Hillary Rodham Clinton. In a more civilized land than the United States of America, Hillary would be known as “The Ex-Wife” not “The Former First Wife.” She is the Secretary of State that presided over Benghazi and helped create an online work environment that made the Chinese OPM Hack of 2015 possible. Her resume, like some things you see on the Internet**, just makes you want to stamp her application with WTF?!

Which puts a tough and unpleasant question to the current GOP. Why does this matronly harridan of the Diworsity Racket even have a non-denominational prayer to the non-judgmental sky-being of winning in 2016? This opens up a further can of worms. If you can’t beat the worst, just what does that make you?

We found that out just last Friday as *[mc_name name=’Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)’ chamber=’house’ mcid=’P000197′ ]* served as the conscience of America.*** The GOP, in acquiescent and subservient alliance with Barack Obama, couldn’t even successfully have his back and cede to him the Constitutional Authority of the legislature? Not only were Scott Walker, [mc_name name=’Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000595′ ] and [mc_name name=’Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’C001098′ ] all on the wrong side; they couldn’t even effectively aid the wrong side. When [mc_name name=’Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)’ chamber=’house’ mcid=’P000197′ ] uses you to wipe the gym floor; you are an utter rag. Jim Mora describes it better than the professional punditry. “Are you kidding me?! Playoffs?!”

In the summer of 2016, the GOP will attempt to answer Mora’s grim existential question. They will nominate someone to run against perhaps the worst and most utterly solipsistic excuse for a sentient primate to win The Democratic Party nomination since James Buchanan all but butt-fumbled America into the Civil War. She is genuinely that bad. She would genuinely be that bad for America.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is also even money to horse-whip anything the GOP sends into electoral Thunderdome against her. Spare me the stupid excuses about media and academia being biased against Conservatives. Spare the crappola about the advantages of Barack Obama’s incumbency. We saw those in full bloom last Friday. If you can’t intelligently answer the question “What would be a worthy alternative to Hillary!” you can’t answer stump the chump questions any better than the typical autistic kid. It’s quite possibly time for the GOP to fold their tents if they can’t get it done in 2016.

*-When has Alec Baldwin ever been safe for work?
**-There are less logical things than supporting !HILLARY! for POTUS.
***-Writing that and believing it to be true hurt worse than three straight days of constipation.