“Drag a hundred-dollar bill through a trailer park, you never know what you’ll find.”

– James Carville

The latest GOP bubble of fratricidal support for Comprehensive Amnesty Reform is all about the Benjamins. It’s about who has the Benjamins, and more importantly, who you have to ask if you want some for yourself. Let’s say you’re a mainstream, middle-of-the-road Republican this election cycle. You want money to continue your career. Not only that, you’d like greater control over who within the party has money so that you can control what version of American Conservatism reaches the media. This helps you define what the average unaffiliated voter thinks of the GOP.

In past election cycles, this was never really a problem. Self-identifying Conservatives who felt aroused enough about political conditions in America would cut a check to the GOP. They would generally trust the party to move the country in a direction that seemed about right. Now, Conservative donors have grown savvier and reject the blanket Null-Hypothesis that a Republican will automatically equal a small-government ideological Conservative. Thus, your friendly GOP Establishment™ now has to replace newly minted Tea Partiers as a donor class because of this lack of blind loyalty. Enter “Conservative Entrepreneurs” like Mark Zuckerberg.

Zuckerberg has probably never had a conservative philosophical belief in his head unless he inadvertently snorted it up his nostril through a rolled-up $100 bill. He does, however, have a keen eye for sucker-on-the-hoof and knows how to buy a distressed asset on the cheap. Zuckerberg, like Karl Marx’s caricature of a capitalist swine, would also like to see a sizeable Reserve Army of The Unemployed who would be grateful to him for the opportunity to work low-wage jobs. The current generous social safety net has the unintended consequence of making low-wage work a waste of any intelligent yet amoral man’s time. Zuckerberg’s solution is to ramp up the rate of low-skilled immigration into America.

Zuckerberg’s desire for a legal hack that lets him hire cheap labor engaged in a liquored hook-up with the donation-starved establishment GOP. The illegitimate offspring is Americans For a “Conservative” Direction. Like all oligopolistic big-businessmen, the deep-pocketed backers of this “Conservative” direction have a disingenuous ppt. We hear pious buzz-wording like securing the border, ending de-facto amnesty, helping the economy, etc, etc, etc… If it got any more cheesy and dishonest, Barack Obama could deliver this for his next State of The Union Show.

Mickey Kaus describes exactly how fake and artificialevery one of these promises being made to the GOP base truly is. The key aspect of this that gives open-borders anti-Americans an unstoppable fulcrum is described as probationary legal status. It’s about as funny as putting The Animal House on double-secret probation. Kaus describes why below.

1. Anything that allows formerly illegal immigrants to “be able to be lawfully here,” as Goodlatte put it, is legal status, even if it’s “probationary” legal status. The Ryan plan gives this legal status — ability to live and work here — instantly, rewarding people who immigrated illegally…
2. Nobody is going to re-illegalize previously legalized illegals if border security goals aren’t met, because it would be absurdly cruel (as Democrats, among others, will argue) to punish them just because the government didn’t, for example, implement an E-Verify system fast enough.
3. Even if you accept its terms, Ryan’s scheme doesn’t satisfy Goodlatte’s promise, since it allows illegals to “be lawfully here” before enforcement measures are “up and running.”
4. Democrats, ethnic groups (La Raza) and civil libertarians (ACLU) would still be able to pocket the immediate work permits and then try to undermine enforcement measures from a position of strength…

So yes, as I argued while the Senate was passing Mao-Tse Schumer’s Gang of Eight proposal, this is entirely about replacing slack-jaw, yokel Americans that just don’t cut it. Senator Rubio’s entourage of political lackeys wanted to replace the typical American Blue Collar worker. John Boehner and his inbred coterie of Yacht-Club Aristocrats want to replace recalcitrant GOP donors and control the message.

This is precisely Mitt Romney’s “I don’t worry about the poor” Conservatism that just helped re-elect Barack Obama for a totally undeserved 2nd term. It doesn’t show any concern for poor Americans because they’ve got a safety hammock and don’t “need” those kinds of jobs. It doesn’t show any real concern for poor immigrants. They’ll be serfs on the Zuckerberg fiefdom – cheap labor under the thumb of this Orwellian “probationary legal status.” It shows no respect at all for immigrants who did things the legal way and sweated it out as the INS handled its duties with the poise and efficiency with which the Denver Broncos covered the 2nd half kick-off of last night’s Super Bowl. Most importantly, it shows no respect or concern at all for the people that have given the GOP control over the House of Representatives. John Boehner needs to be reminded that he is a whole lot easier to replace than any appreciable subset of the beleaguered American People.