North Korea Totally Going to Denuclearize This Time

Good news, everyone!

North Korea has agreed to discuss giving up nuclear weapons! This represents a great milestone in the history of efforts to address the North Korean nuclear problem, and a vindication for Donald Trump and his policy of regularly antagonizing and denigrating Kim Jong-un. Here’s the headline, detailing North Korea’s commitment to freeze and gradually dismantle its program:


No, sorry, that’s 1994. I found it. They have agreed to end their nuclear weapons program:

Damn, wrong one again. That was 2005. Sorry about that. Here we are. They’ll be disabling their nuclear facilities by the end of the year! It’s a diplomatic victory!

Damn damn damn. That was 2007. Fourth time’s the charm. They’re suspending tests and will even allow inspectors! That should ensure compliance!

Whoops. Fourth time’s not the charm. That was 2012. This time, definitely:

Yup, that’s the one.

I owe the gag in this post, and all the screenshots of past headlines, entirely to Twitterer @neontaster. It seemed like a gag worth expanding into a post.


The point is serious, of course: it’s nice to have talks about NoKo denuclearization, I guess . . . but let’s not get carried away. They pull this stunt regularly. They get some money and some relief from sanctions and then continue on their merry way.

So enjoy the news, I suppose. But please. Place it in historical context.



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