With a few subtle changes, the article you're about to read would appear to be satire.
The New York City Police Department, beset by out-of-control crime, repeat violent offenders released back to the streets, a growing invasion of illegal aliens, and Democrat politicians who won't let officers do their jobs has taken matters into its own hands — by banning facial hair and wearing newly designed uniforms.
"Huh?" you ask.
The NYPD is going "old school," according to Chief of Patrol John Chell, who told department brass at a recent Compstat meeting at One Police Plaza:
Uniform changes are coming rather quickly. No more beards in about a week. No open collars in about a week. We’re going back to weather restrictions on knit caps.
Basically, what I’m telling everybody in this room is we’re going back to old school. We’re going to bring back some traditions that we kind of lost in the past couple [of] years.
Before I get into the obvious, let's first acknowledge the reality.
Law enforcement agencies in Democrat-run cities across the country have not only been neutered beyond the point of capability to protect their respective citizens and communities; they have also often been forced by circumstances beyond their control to bear the brunt of public criticism for their gelded reality.
Anyway, back to the facial hair and new uniforms. Here's more:
In 2016, the department — in a nod to a growing Sikh population of officers — said cops could wear beards and turbans while in uniform, as long as the turbans were blue. Over time, even cops without religious exemption also grew beards.
The NYPD also began allowing officers to wear warmer knit instead of their police hats during frigid weather. The Finest also dumped ties with uniforms to the chagrin of some traditionalists.
One veteran Manhattan cop was all in with the changes.
It’s absolutely ludicrous that you have an officer with pink hair and nails longer than their fingers. We’re a police department, not a hip-hop department. Let’s go back to being police.
Retired NYPD sergeant Joseph Giacalone nailed it, as well:
I was against all the beards. It’s about a sense of pride. This is absolutely a necessary aspect about [sic] showing a good front to the community because I think once the cops look good that comes with a modicum of respect because people perceive if you look like a slob they treat you like one.
Giacalone was right, to a point — but when criminals are intent on committing crimes and disrespecting law enforcement officers because they know they'll be back on the streets, even if arrested, they don't give a damn what a cop looks like.
As to be expected, NYC's largest police union is opposed to the changes. Police Benevolent Association President Patrick Hendry said:
The NYPD is understaffed by thousands of police officers and hundreds more are leaving every month. The department has much bigger issues to tackle. Is it really time to focus on beards and neckties?
Ah, but Mr. Hendry, you assume your argument is mutually exclusive. It isn't. The NYPD can only do what it can do — given the aforementioned restraints forced on it by Democrat politicians. That said, returning the force to a more professional appearance isn't a bad thing, is it?
The answer is "No."
Therefore, Mr. Hendry, you're whining in the wrong direction. Try NYC Mayor Eric Adams and Democrat politicians at City Hall. Whine to them. Whine about the dangers your officers potentially face every time they take to the streets — beards and neckties or not.