Insanity: Illinois Elementary School Defends Promotion of 'After School Satan Club' as 'Equal Access'

(AP Photo/Jonathan Bachman)

In this episode of “Can’t Make It Up, Don’t Have To”…

I don’t even know which is worse, anymore. The fact that disgusting crap like this continues to happen across America on a regular basis or the sad, stark realization that we’ve seen it so much that we have become desensitized to it and are no longer shocked.


A school district in Moline, Illinois, has released a statement defending a controversial after-school satanist club, after flyers sponsored by The Satanic Temple surfaced at an elementary school in the district.

As reported by local NBC affiliate KWQC, the After School Satan Club is scheduled to have its first meeting Tuesday. No word if students will be required to provide their own eye of newt, toe of frog, and stuff.

The flyer is directed at first-fifth graders, regardless of religious background or affiliation, and surprisingly asks for permission from parents or guardians for students to attend — rather than the standard practice of trying to slip it past parents, only to offer insincere apologies after getting caught — and blasted later.

In this case, the Moline-Coal Valley School District is astonishingly defending itself over the satanist club, saying in a statement, per KWQC:

The Moline-Coal Valley School District understands that there is concern and confusion over an upcoming after-school club at Jane Addams elementary. [Yet didn’t for a nanosecond anticipate such “concern and confusion”?]

The District would like to provide information on the situation. The Moline-Coal Valley School District and Board of Education have policies and administrative procedures in place which allow for community use of its publicly funded facilities outside the school day.

The district does not discriminate against any groups who wish to rent our facilities, including religious-affiliated groups. Religiously affiliated groups are among those allowed to rent our facilities for a fee. [#ProTip: The Satanic Temple cult is not a “religious-affiliated group,” you disingenuous fools.]

The district has, in the past, approved these types of groups, one example being the Good News Club, which is an after-school child evangelism fellowship group. Flyers and promotional materials for these types of groups are approved for lobby posting or display only, and not for mass distribution.

Students or parents are then able to pick up the flyer from the lobby, if they so choose, which is aligned to District policy.

Please note that the district must provide equal access to all groups and that students need parental permission to attend any after-school event. Our focus remains on student safety and student achievement.


This is insane “logic.” So, what about Antifa? The Taliban? Various domestic terrorist groups? These people are saying the school district must not only “provide equal access” to these types of groups but that it also must promote said groups to 1st-5th graders.

Oh — I almost forgot. The flyer describes club meetings as based on “a uniform syllabus that emphasizes a scientific, rationalist, non-superstitious worldview” and is set to be held at Jane Addams Elementary School over a period of five dates through May — the first taking place on Thursday.

The club promises attendees “science projects, puzzles and games, arts and crafts projects, [and] nature activities.”

With a side of devil worship tossed in at no extra cost. How fun.

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