Here Ya Go: Hire 'Thanksgiving Bouncers' to Test Guests for COVID — Before They Enter Your House

(Disney via AP)

On today’s episode of “Just When You Thought COVID Crap Couldn’t Get More Ridiculous”…

From Anthony Fauci to Joe Biden to left-“leaning” outlets, the COVID police have been on a hellbent mission to steal as much Thanksgiving joy from Americans as they can.


As we reported on Wednesday, CBS’s hot tip of the day is to first gather with Thanksgiving guests in your garage or outdoors for a fun round of COVID rapid tests.

Make it fun and playful, said the CBS dude, with a straight face.

Too much work? Welp, the geniuses at Axios have come up with an even better — more ridiculous — option: Hire a “Thanksgiving bouncer” to test your friends and loved ones —before they enter your home.

No one really wants this job, but millions of households may need their own: a Thanksgiving bouncer.

The cover charge? A negative COVID test, done ahead of arrival or outside the front door.

Have these people gone insane?


Under the Axios plan, your guests should also have the option of bringing “evidence of their negative [PCR test] results up to a few days before Thanksgiving if they choose.” Aww, how benevolent, huh?

Axios offered several tips to ensure your “Thanksgiving bouncer” experience is as fun and exciting as possible. Among them:

Depending on your budget, you might offer to pick up the tab for everyone’s tests, or hosts might ask guests to pay for their own.

At-home antigen tests cost around $25 for a box of two.

Alternatively, guests who have gotten a PCR test within a couple of days prior could bring evidence of their negative results.

PCR rapid tests can be obtained same-day but are generally much more expensive.

One extra precaution may be to purchase enough tests for a re-test or to ask guests to test on their own before and then again when they arrive for the meal.

Then there’s your home itself, America.

“Beyond requiring tests for entry,” Axios advised, “there are other tweaks that can help make Thanksgiving a bit safer.”

Opening windows to improve air circulation only goes so far because people want to be comfortable.

Those with electronic thermostats can improve airflow by setting their fan to “on” versus “auto” and replacing air filters on their heating systems with MERV Rating 13 filters.

People can also purchase portable HEPA air filtration devices at hardware stores or national retailers or create their own filtration devices using a box fan.


Are you ever amused by how stupid the left thinks we are? That they believe it is their responsibility to take care of us because we are incapable of taking care of ourselves? Wait — I just described the Democrat Party in a nutshell. Anyway, me too.

Meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy a simple Thanksgiving with my family.

All of whom turned out to be normal (conservative Christians).

Despite all of the “help” from liberals.

Happy Thanksgiving, RedStaters!

Related holiday fun:

Happy Holidays, White Donors: Salvation Army Wants You to Offer a ‘Sincere Apology’ for ‘Systemic Racism’

Liberal Writer’s Bizarre Take on Biden, Demonizing Americans, and Thanksgiving


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