Parent of the Year? Mother Teaches Her Daughters That Virginity Doesn't Exist: 'Purity Culture Is Toxic at Its Core'

(AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

Another day, another trip to the Twilight Zone. Meet Cayce LaCorte (below), America. Ms. LaCorte is the proud mother of five daughters. Five daughters she has proudly taught that virginity is a patriarchal concept that doesn’t exist, and “purity culture is toxic at its core.”

In a recent conversation with Buzzfeed, LaCorte explained that virginity and purity are nothing more than “social constructs” foisted on women through the ages by… wait for it… “toxic masculinity.” Buzzfeed noted that at the time of its Wednesday report, LaCorte’s TikTok video had been viewed more than two million times.

“Serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about themselves.”

So, in LaCorte’s mind, men created the “patriarchal concept” of virginity simply as a means to control women by making them feel bad about themselves if they fail to “remain pure,” presumably until they marry.

“[Virginity] is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about ourselves. Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, it does not change who you are, it doesn’t do anything other than it happened.”

Definitely a wordsmith, isn’t she?


#stitch with @nevadashareef #virginityisamyth #madmoms #fuckthepatriarchy

♬ original sound – Your Mom

“It makes me want to smash things.”

Did I mention that LaCorte is “really f**king angry” about women being put upon by evil-intending men?

“We all have our own rape/assault/pressured into doing something I didn’t want ‘story.’ We can all empathize. For an entire society to tell you that your worth is tied to your virginity or your purity, then have someone take that from you?

“It’s heartbreaking and infuriating and makes me want to smash things. We are so f***ing angry about all of this, and if I can make a single survivor feel better about themselves, then I’ve already succeeded.”

“Arbitrary rules.”

To be fair, “make sure it’s always special because that’s the bare minimum you deserve” is good advice for anyone, in any number of areas.

“It’s about the way we force arbitrary rules on ourselves and our kids and miss the big picture. Instead, we could focus on education about pregnancy, STDs, self-worth. How about, instead of making the first time special, make sure it’s always special because that’s the bare minimum you deserve.”

As is always the case, “toxic masculinity” is to blame.

LaCorte’s entire argument is based on “men and society created by men forcing women to do things or behave in a way they otherwise would not.”

“You have to battle against toxic masculinity, which is like rolling a boulder up a hill, but it can be done. I’d give the same talks about consent, diversity, love, boundaries, permission, and openness.”

“Steeped in a history of women being property.”

So “purity is toxic at its core” because, throughout history, men have treated their women like cattle — or perhaps a notch or two higher on the “ownership totem pole.” Again, LaCorte makes several valid points along the way — “making the world a safer place…” — but, IMHO, they get buried by her overall message.

“Purity culture is toxic at its core. Women are treated vastly different than men because its roots are steeped in a history of women being property. Can you imagine what the world would look like if society put half as much effort into making the world a safer place for women instead of worrying that she’s not a virgin for her husband?”

The bottom line.

My intent is not to pass judgment on Cayce LaCorte. Given that I’m not a woman, not a mother who has raised five daughters, I get it. To a point. But gimme a break.

As is the case with many issues — particularly social issues — there are extremes on both ends of the spectrum. Second, she fails to address the reality that men and boys do exist who themselves “practice” what Cayce LaCorte says they “preach” to women and girls.

Believe it or not, Ms. LaCorte, women and girls exist who make their own decisions. Whatever they might be. This is not profound. It’s simply not a black or white issue.