“Since this is my first divorce I need to know what I should do about my daughter being put on Tik Tok against my will?”

West isn’t wrong for being concerned. His former wife and her family are a reality television empire because of a sex tape. While the notoriety has brought them fame and riches, it has brought nothing but chaos and terrible decision-making in their personal lives. There are a lot of perverts out there, and young Ms. West’s social media is most likely crawling with many. Her father would be a fool not to be worried.

But the artist formerly known as Kanye West (now just Ye, officially) started all this out with foolishness, and it is coming back to haunt him. His entire relationship with the most famous reality tv star in the world was foolishness from the start. He knew who he was marrying. He knew what she did for a living and how she got that job. He knew the fakeness of the reality world and dove in anyway. He knew all he was looking for was an accessory, and Kim Kardashian is a walking Barbie doll, more plastic than biological material these days. He knew it, and that’s what he liked about her. They were going to be a power couple, from fashion to business to family. Ye was building an empire and Kardashian was the perfect Empress.

Things change when you become a parent. The world shifts, and what you thought was most important completely drops out of view. Kanye West, the father, was a lot different than Kanye West, the artist. He had viewed his marriage as a type of art installation, but West seemed to abhor the idea of making a public experiment of his family. He’s been complaining about their presence on social media and television since nearly the beginning.

Sadly for him, it’s far too late for a do-over. As I was thinking about the celebrity drama my daughter was engrossed in on her phone, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for the entire West family. They are surrounded by chaos and craziness right now, and it’s all because their father got what he wished for.

He never chose a partner, he chose a decoration.

The tough lesson Kanye West is learning is one we can all stand to be reminded of.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

This goes for anything…work issues, that plum job, a specific romantic partner. Often our wishes have more to do with what we want to project than with what we know will be healthy for us. I see women do this all the time in romance. I have an acquaintance who isn’t ashamed to admit that she is seeking a man who is handsome and wealthy. She loves fancy cars and luxury vacations. She’s a stereotypical Orange County, middle-aged woman. Blond, Botoxed and bosomy. I’m not saying anything she doesn’t say about herself. She wants a lifestyle, and she’s been able to find it…to a certain extent. The “lifestyle” has come with two very contentious divorces, struggling children, debt, a couple of abusive ex’s, and the unsettling reality that she may be aging out of eligibility in the land of aging ex wives. She’s been unfairly treated, hurt, and abused. Yes, she found men who were extremely attractive, rich and successful, but every one of them came with a world of pain.

Be careful what you wish for.

Almost everyone thinks they could do a better job than their boss, but being the boss is an entirely different experience than wishing you could be the boss. Suddenly peers become employees. People you once ate lunch with every day are now the people you supervise and sometimes reprimand. And guess what? They all still think they can do a better job than their boss. Suddenly, the job of boss isn’t so glamorous and certainly not easy. It comes with more money, but also more stress, more resentment, more isolation, etc.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be aspirational. I’m not even saying someone like my Orange County acquaintance is wrong for having a specific man in mind for herself. At least she’s honest about her goals. What I am saying is simple- dream big, choose wisely. Make an effort to draw out the potential consequences of your choice to their possible conclusions, and ask yourself if you’re willing to live that way to have what you want in the here and now.

You want a handsome, wealthy man, but are you willing to accept the ego that often comes with? You want a popular, desired wife, but are you willing to accept what kind of mother that wife will be, and who she may make your children into? You want to be the boss, but are you willing to accept that the people you thought were friends may not like you at all once you write their work reviews?

Choose wisely, because the one thing you cannot choose is time. It marches on with or without you and one day you will be looking at a really sad and tragic consequence of your choice and you’ll have to ask yourself, “Was it worth it?”

Decide now, not when regret is at your doorstep.