For Halloween 2016, Slate regurgitated one of their old articles.
Liberals always want to ruin fun, or better yet, childhood memories. Still better than that is a more specific ruination of memories evil members of The Patriarchy possess. Their past, present, and future must be destroyed.
Predictably, liberal women, straight or not, are/were obsessed with the all-female reboot of Ghostbusters that came out this year. I didn’t see it, and I don’t want to see it. Why? Because for the most part, I strongly dislike reboots. They are always cheap imitations of a beloved product. They only exist because Hollywood’s grab bag of new ideas is dwindling. Instead of creativity, they fall back onto laziness. That’s boring. Another reason I don’t like reboots? So often their purpose is to make some sort of progressive, cultural statement. This is dumb.
That’s why the new, all-female Ghostbusters happened. A lack of creativity combined with a desire to issue a cultural statement of female power was supposed to equal good entertainment. More importantly, it was supposed to draw people to the theaters. Actually, I can’t think of worse reasons to see a movie, can you?
So that’s why Slate dusted off a July article and spit it back out into the social media universe on October 31. Not because Halloween is supposed to be fun, but because men are evil and must be dealt with. Amazingly, the same people who claim Halloween costumes are offensive trip over themselves to find a way to offend others with costumes.
In the article, the lesbian author (Christina) discusses how she and her partner (Deb) dressed up as Ghostbusters characters for Halloween last year, in advance of and in support of the all-female reboot. She never saw the original movie until adulthood, but immediately liked it. Though it was enjoyable, she had a strong desire to condemn others – namely men – for experiencing the exact same feeling. Odd.
Come September, when Deb and I received an invitation to our friends’ Halloween wedding reception with the instruction to spend all our money on costumes instead of gifts, there was no need for conversation. We were going full Ghostbuster.
And that’s how we came to desecrate the childhoods of men’s rights activists the world over months before Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon ever had the chance.
The first goal of these two was to “desecrate the childhoods of men’s right activists”, not to enjoy a costume-themed wedding reception? Talk about bitter.
So committed were we to despoiling the sacred moments of every young man’s upbringing that we planned our costumes weeks in advance, a first for this Halloween procrastinator.
…I also went to a physical Walmart location, the closest thing to yuppie treasona progressive D.C. resident could commit, to find that rare pair of beige jeggings, fake fly and all.
Not only were they focused on spoiling for others that which they themselves had enjoyed, they went about it in typical liberal fashion. Shop at Walmart?! The horror. But, in their quest to ruin anything that men enjoyed, they would take one for the team. How brave.
In a way, my Ghostbusters costume was a lot like the priceless male childhood moments under siege by the forthcoming girly reboot: Little by little, spray-painted Styrofoam ball by spray-painted Styrofoam ball, they’re falling to pieces. Bill Murray’s and Dan Aykroyd’s sacrosanct characters appropriated by McCarthy, Wiig, and Jones? There goes a flurry of glitter. Chris Hemsworth as a sexy receptionist, taking over a role originated by a woman? The tulle is unraveling!
I’m not sure if we should tell Christina that her costume did nothing to impact existing memories in the minds of her fellow Ghostbusters fans. She felt each little DIY addition was making a statement against the evil guy universe. In reality, she just looked like a desperate, hot mess.
But like my crumbling costume, the Ghostbusters backlash is leaving annoying bits of hazardous material everywhere. Men spammed the IMDB user rating of the film with 1-point votes, the lowest possible rating, despite the fact that it hadn’t even opened in theaters yet. The film’s YouTube trailer is the most disliked one, as voted by users, in the site’s history. One male critic wrote that empowering female movie stars is “the only justification for [the film’s] existence.”
Christina’s paragraph above actually sounds like this: “Oh no…not low ratings on IMDB! The vagina brigade must respond.”
I agree with the male critic mentioned above. The only reason the movie ever existed in the first place was to “empower” female movie stars by placing them in a reboot that had originally been dominated by men. Because evil Patriarchy and all that.
The article, experiencing its own reboot months after its debut, ends like this:
The Ghostbusters reboot has galvanized sexist know-nothings more successfully than any other film in recent memory, and it’s sad to observe how they’ve tried to apply the Christopher Hitchens hypothesis that women just aren’t funny to four of the funniest comedic actors, male or female, of our generation. Luckily, since they’re already suffering an unprecedented attack on the very fabric of their childhoods, we don’t have to waste any effort plotting revenge.
We “sexist know-nothings”, which I’m probably considered a part of, don’t have to like a movie which has been so artificially constructed to be a vehicle for feminist retribution. Maybe we just like good entertainment that doesn’t bow to cultural whims? And no, the women in the new Ghostbusters reboot aren’t very funny at all, even on their own and not propped up by a liberal agenda.
In the very last sentence, the author claims she and others “don’t have to waste any effort plotting revenge”. That’s funny, I thought the entire article was about how we were supposed to care for Christina and Deb’s little crusade and their shoddy costumes?
The Left is so obsessed with the fact that you don’t agree with their agenda that they’ll use what they hate (costumes) in an effort to offend you. Typical. Meanwhile, the rest of us just don’t care. We won’t go see the movie in an effort to soothe our feelings of shame, because we have none, and our childhood memories will stay intact.
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