Millions of Americans are set to gather in protest on Thursday — a major surge in novel coronavirus and warnings from multiple state and health officials.
Rather than holding one large protest, Americans will be gathering in mini-rallies across the nation, even hosting some of these events in their own homes. While some of these gatherings will seek to abide by the in-person threshold (as low as 10 people in some municipalities), many will simply gather in larger numbers despite the threat of COVID-19.
Multiple state and local officials around the country (and even presumed President-Elect Joe Biden) have warned against such gatherings, but many Americans seem undeterred and are currently planning to move ahead with their gatherings which, in some cases, have been planned for months. Law enforcement in some of these municipalities also say they simply won’t get involved.
Though there is some disagreement on the origin of the protest, it appears to be based on growing discontent with 17th-century religious intolerance in England, and the journey of religious minorities from there to the Plymouth Colony in what would become the United States.
Authorities say that while these gatherings may appear different from one to the next, there are some common themes among them, including the presence of an oven-roasted, fried, or smoked turkey, a green bean casserole made largely from canned goods (unless you’re the kind of person who follows those social media accounts that post “from scratch” green bean casserole recipes), and an assortment of pies.
President Donald Trump, meanwhile, is expected to pardon a turkey or dip his hands into a bowl of water in a symbolic gesture before handing the turkey over to protestors.
On a related note, you probably want to check your email in case Aunt Susan did confirm that she’s coming to your family’s rally, in which case you may not want to mention the 2020 election with her because that’s just going to start a fight. Oh, and be sure to bring paper plates. We never have enough of those.
Though controversial, the protests also seek to celebrate American history and remind Americans of the importance of liberty and spending time with your family. Unlike other protests going on around the nation, this occasion also begins a season of celebrating capitalism with great deals you can find online and in stores.
At the end of the day of protests, millions of Americans will gather around their televisions and watch football, as God intended.