After Getting A Haircut, Where Does Beto Go Next?

Beto O'Rourke
2020 presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke (D) speaks on “The View” – 5/14/19. Screen grab via ABC.

Beto O’Rourke, a failed U.S. Senate candidate, is on track to become a failed presidential candidate. His campaign appears to be imploding and the media that lavished praise upon him during his Senate run has turned on him now.


In an effort to, I guess, make himself appear more relatable to us common folk, Beto has started sharing mundane life occasions with his followers on social media.

Not too long ago, he shared his time at a dentist’s office with his followers. Then, yesterday, he decided to share his exciting adventures in getting a haircut.

This unexpected and delightful turn of events is sure to enthrall his once-captive audience and send him surging back to the forefront of the Democratic pool of candidates.

Still, it could very well be that Beto needs to do some more “one of y’all” broadcasts to ensure that he can convince the Democrats he’s not just another rich white guy yearning for more power. Where is he likely to find the best connection with the average American?

It could be a trip to the grocery store. Bernie Sanders was recently photographed at one, and that got people talking for a minute or so. Maybe Beto can wrestle with the dilemma of name brand vs. Great Value on Instagram live. Perhaps he needs to ask a clerk how to spot the freshest of fruits and vegetables.


What if Beto’s journeys took him to a car wash? Not the kind where high schoolers are raising money for a school event or trip – he’s not Joe Biden after all – but maybe one of those short little drive-through car wash places that sprays the different colored soaps on the windows. Imagine his joy and wonder as he drives under the gigantic blowers to dry off his car. It would be grand.

There’s also a furry convention in Reno this weekend. That’s a great spot for him to talk to like-minded voters and probable supporters.

Really, though, there are so many options for Beto to introduce us to the Behind The Scenes life of Beto. However, if I were his campaign, there is one broadcast I’d be sure to schedule.

That’s right, my friends. He’s gotta broadcast the prostate exam.

Think about it, folks. He’d be promoting good health – an excellent segue into more Democratic healthcare reform – and he’ll certainly have people talking about it.


The best part is, if you were to get just the right angle during the exam, you could definitely get a glimpse of the Democratic Party platform, and what a coup that would be if Beto could announce it and take control of the narrative so early in the campaign.



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