After George Floyd was killed, Minneapolis went up in “mostly peaceful” flames. Predominantly white Minneapolis suburbanites were aghast – not at the wanton and mindless destruction of property but rather, at the police in general and their own “white silence.”

A local Target was looted and put to the torch. What was the reaction of white liberals? One white female activist named Michelle Garvey summed it up. Garvey said that torching a Target made sense to her. She called it a “perfectly justified and warranted response” because we all know that Target was to blame for Floyd’s death. Another white liberal named Meredith Webb sent a text to Garvey. In what seems to be a ripe parody of liberal memes, she wrote:

“Beloved city…so much pain”.

Webb replied.

“Exploding pain”.

An apt choice of a metaphor.

What was Garvey’s solution? She said that she wanted the school district to cut ties with the police. Who would protect her schoolchildren if that happened? That didn’t matter to Garvey. “I don’t know,” she said. “But I know the current system isn’t working”.

Both women made sure to place the obligatory “BLM” and “End White Silence” signs on their well-manicured lawns assuming, as many liberals did, that yard signs would serve as religious talismans against “justified” looting of their property. Loot Target, but don’t loot the Garvey and Webb homes. They are BLM allies. The looting didn’t reach Garvey and Webb’s neighborhood so both were safe in their faith that their yard signs did the trick. Virtue-signaling works until it doesn’t.

Since Floyd, crime has escalated across the fruited plain and into tree-lined liberal enclaves, from tony suburbs of LA to Brooklyn’s Park Slope. In Los Angeles, the executive director of the Homeless service Authority said that violence committed by the homeless should not be “conflated” with LA’s homeless epidemic. The homeless comprise about one percent of the city’s population, but the homeless were 11 percent of the suspects in the city’s 397 murders in 2021, so the director might be mistaken.

In Park Slope, the price of homes is beyond almost all Americans. For instance, if you were thinking of moving to Park Slope, there’s a cozy place for sale on 5^th Street.

“Perched on one of the loveliest of tree-lined streets in prime Park Slope … enter this striking brick charmer, artfully re-sculpted and used as a one family”.

It will set you back a measly $3,550,000. It’s a steal. It’s not quite the “steal” that’s been plaguing upscale Park Slope. There have been lots of robberies, armed and not armed and now, a “dog murder.” In early August, a Park Slope homeowner was walking her dog when a homeless lunatic took after her and her pooch. The homeless nut pummeled the dog with a piece of lumber and a bottle of urine. The dog died a few days later.

Armed robberies are one thing, but by god, the death of the dog set our hero on his quest for law and order. Well, at least “order.” The “Nextdoor” hero/organizer is named Kristian Nammack. He put out a call to arms. Actually, it was a call to wear a beret and a yellow T-shirt and to “take Prospect Park back.” Nammack described himself as having politics “left of Lenin” so blaming the NYPD seemed natural. Nammack was one of the clowns who “occupied Wall Street” in 2011, so he has some activist “street cred”. His profile photo doesn’t invoke much fear. Maybe loathing. Seriously, take a look at his photo. The homeless guy is more likely to pummel him with a bottle of urine than cower when Nammack yells: “Stop! I’m a Panther! He and his band of future Panthers haven’t tracked down the dog slayer yet, but they did hold a meeting that went according to form – and I mean, it went off the leftist rails, hard and fast. According to Suzy Weiss, writing for Common Sense, the meeting went something like this:

To start the meeting, Nammack wanted everyone to know, he was into handing out yellow shirts with “PP” printed on them. He wasn’t going to do, you know, anything like watching the ‘hood. He said:

“I have a non-profit and two companies, I’m too busy to run a neighborhood watch.”

Then he was accused of being a vigilante. That bristled the old commie. He said his politics were “left of Lenin” and that he proudly told Tucker Carlson to F*** off. Well ok then.

There were immediate objections to the name “Panthers” because according to a white woman wearing cut-off jeans and loafers, the name “Panthers” belonged to the Black Panthers and presumably Marvel’s Black Panther. “That’s abhorrent to me,” she said.

Another woman named “Sky” chimed in:

“It’s easy to be wrong about who you’re going after, particularly when those are some of the few black people still living in the neighborhood, and they’ve been pushed out on the streets by all white, ultra-wealthy people.” 

By this point, Nammack was likely thinking “But I already had the shirts printed.”

Sky added that “Crime is an abstract term that means nothing in a lot of ways.” Sky concluded that “Crime was socially constructed to target black and poor people.”

A woman named CeCe jumped into the conversation. She was wearing an “All Cops are Bastards” (ACAB) gray hoodie. She implored the assembled Park Slope Panthers to not call the cops.

This virtue-signaling train was already off the rails, in the ditch, and smoldering so Nammack wrapped the meeting. He’s a busy guy – he had to go. He emailed the assembled leftists the next day. He told his would-be panthers that he had met with council staff about the dog-murdering homeless guy. Only one problem. Staff didn’t want the homeless guy arrested and God forbid punished and sent to Rikers.

The next morning, Nammack woke to a bright new day. He opened his front door and there, staring back at him in red graffiti was a message:

It read: “Don’t be a cop, Kris.”

Snitches get stitches, Kris. Snitches get stitches.

On second thought don’t buy a home in Park Slope. No one will help you. Not even Kris – the last and only Panther in Park Slope.