The Continuously Sinking Ship of Captain Bill Kristol's Brain

Bill Kristol, theoretical conservative and confirmed lunatic since Donald Trump broke him, has an unwavering commitment to Twitter self-embarrassment. As if destroying The Weekly Standard wasn’t enough of a resume, uh, highlight. In-between moments spent wondering why no one signs up for the annual Weekly Standard cruise anymore, Kristol rants thrice daily on The Bulwark (by the way, if you need a good laugh follow my fellow RedStatesman Brad Slager‘s Bullwork Online Twitter parody account) about #OrangeManBad. In-between Bulwark rants, Kristol pens Twitter raves, although reading them rapidly reveals that, unlike actual raves, no smart drugs have been consumed.


One of Kristol’s recent bristles at the notion that acknowledging reality might be an excellent way to start the day is, even by Kristol standards, a stunner.

For the record, “pourquoi pas” is “why not” in French. Gee, where to start …

Biden has made it eminently clear he is unshakably convinced the people and his party want him to run in 2024. From The Hill:

President Biden insisted Tuesday that Democrats want him to run for reelection, firing back at doubters after a poll showed a majority of primary voters wanted someone else at the top of the ticket in 2024.

“They want me to run,” Biden said Tuesday evening when asked by a reporter, toward the end of the White House Congressional Picnic, for his message to Democrats who don’t want him to run for reelection.

“Read the polls. Read the polls,” Biden continued. “You guys are all the same. That poll showed that 92 percent of Democrats if I ran would vote for me.”

As fellow RedStater Nick Arama earlier noted:

I’m confused: Are we supposed to “read the polls” as Joe rants or ignore the polls as White House Karine Jean-Pierre claims they do? Biden tripped up a bit there, making it clear that what KJP said on Monday about them not looking at polls was a lie — that he was paying attention to polls (albeit not understanding them).

But this is bad when he just refuses reality like this. You might argue what the polls mean, but you can’t claim that the polls don’t exist, which is what Biden does. And he wonders why so many Democrats don’t want him to run again?


Further, Biden has stated he’s running.

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said Monday that President Biden is indeed running for reelection in 2024.

During the daily White House press briefing, Fox News’ Peter Doocy asked Jean-Pierre whether Biden would run, amid concerns by Democratic strategists about the president’s age, which will be 82 at the start of his second term.

“First of all, let’s reset for a second,” Jean-Pierre responded. “I cannot talk about elections. I cannot be a political analyst from here or, you know, or the midterms or anything like that or including 2024.”

“The president, as you know, has been asked that question many times, and he has answered it,” she added. “His answer has been pretty simple, which is, yes, he’s running for reelection. I can’t say more than that.”

Considering KJP’s penchant for gaffefests during press conferences, she would be wise always not to say more than that. But I digress.

Not to belabor the point, but if The Man Who Was And Is So Much Better Than Trump All NeverTrumpers Supported Him Because Of Their PRINCIPLES! can’t be trusted to tell the truth about whether he’s running in 2024 … you get the picture. This is far more than can be said for Bill Kristol.

We now move on to the second point atop Kristol’s head: his assertion that the 2022 elections will go well for Democrats as they focus on Republican extremism. Really now.


People vote with their wallets, no matter how the media lies and the White House deflects. They know what they’re paying for gas and groceries and everything else. They see the empty shelves. The aware see how present and proposed policies will only make matters worse. And how do the Democrats propose to oppose this? Aside from adding fuel to the inflation firestorm with more government spending … oooh, look, it’s the January 6th Squirrel! Problem is, even Dug knows better than to waste time chasing this one. Unlike Kristol, doubtless still daubing his eyes with his Evan McMullin 2016 flag/crying towel.

Proceeding to #3. Inflation magically subsides! Don’t ask how; it just does! Ukraine defeats Russia! (Which might happen, although if it does without American servicemen dying on Kyiv’s streets, expect Kristol to be quite miffed.) Biden is a successful one-term President! Um, maybe if we drop the word “successful,” Billy …

And finally, the fourth point. A younger, more moderate Democrat runs in 2024 and beats Trump or whoever. Got names, Kristol? Gavin Newsom, who’s even more excessive with his hyper-liberalism than with his use of hair gel? Kamala Harris, whose theme song was written by Thomas Dolby? Bernie Sanders, who is, in truth, a year older than Biden but at least seems still to have sufficient mental capacity for normal daily functions? Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who will be old enough to run in 2024? Just nominate Liz Cheney and be done with it.


Everyone has the right to beclown themselves publicly, but Bill Kristol abuses the privilege. Still, we thank him for the laughs. Don’t change, Captain Bill, don’t you ever change.


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