Noted Political Scholar Taylor Swift Announces Presidential Endorsement, With Cookies

(Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP, File)
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If you’re like most politically-conscientious Americans, you’ve probably been wondering which presidential candidate purported musician Taylor Swift would endorse for president. In fact, you have probably been waiting with bated breath to tell us who she wants to see in the Oval Office. 

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Fortunately, the wait is over and the nation can heave a sigh of relief. Taylor Swift is endorsing former Vice President Joe Biden for president. The “Shake It Off” singer revealed her choice only hours before the vice presidential debate on Twitter.

“I spoke to @vmagazine about why I’ll be voting for Joe Biden for president. So apt that it’s come out on the night of the VP debate. Gonna be watching and supporting @KamalaHarris by yelling at the tv a lot. And I also have custom cookies,” she tweeted alongside a photo of Biden-Harris cookies. 

In an interview with V Magazine, Swift treated the nation to a thorough explanation of her reasons for supporting the Democratic candidate. “The change we need most is to elect a president who recognizes that people of color deserve to feel safe and represented, that women deserve the right to choose what happens to their bodies, and that the LGBTQIA+ community deserves to be acknowledged and included,” she virtue signaled. “Everyone deserves a government that takes global health risks seriously and puts the lives of its people first. The only way we can begin to make things better is to choose leaders who are willing to face these issues and find ways to work through them.”  

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She concluded by announcing, “I will proudly vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in this year’s presidential election. Under their leadership, I believe America has a chance to start the healing process it so desperately needs.” 

Before 2018, Swift kept her political opinions to herself. But during the midterm elections, she vocally supported Tennessee Democratic Senate candidate Phil Bredesen, who later lost to Republican incumbent Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN). During the filming of a documentary, the singer gave an incisive piece of political commentary when she called Blackburn, “Trump in a wig.”

But that’s not the only time the alleged musician treated us to her cutting edge hot takes. While the left was drumming up more fake outrage due to concerns that Trump was meddling with the postal service, she stated that he was trying to “blatantly cheat and put millions of Americans’ lives at risk in an effort to hold on to power.” 

Yet another brilliant display of political thought, right? 

But in all seriousness, Swift’s announcement is just another “water is wet” headline. Nobody who pays attention to politics actually believed that the supposed musician would actually throw her support behind Trump, even if she wanted to. 

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Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Follow me on Twitter: @JeffOnTheRight

 

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