The Culture Wars #117: Dress Codes and Gays Gone Wild

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Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
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Welcome to yet another issue of the culture wars where this writer is proud to bring you the best in Leftwing nuttery and kookery.  Here are seven stories that made the cut culled from the dark recessed bowels of the Internet.

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So Much For That First Amendment Thing

Haverford is a rich suburb of Philadelphia that is serviced by five volunteer fire companies.  The member of one fire company made the wrong choice when it came to associations- the Proud Boys.  Township officials got wind of it and told the company to dismiss the offender, but they refused.  The offender even offered to resign, but his fellow emergency responders stood behind him.  The result?  Haverford relieved the entire fire company of their duties indefinitely.  Let’s hope none of Haverford’s finest leaders need a fire put out or EMT services any time soon.

Restaurant Dress Codes Are Racist

A bar in Sacramento has come under fire for posting a dress code that some have deemed racist.  It bans “sweats, grills, chains, baggy clothes, gang colors, or solid color t-shirts after 10 PM.”  Some, including a representative of Black Lives Matter, have called it the equivalent of a “Whites Only” sign.  Actually, it is a “criminal elements stay away” sign.  It is rather racist to assume that any minority cannot appropriately attire oneself after 10 PM to patronize a single bar in Sacramento.

A Unique Lawsuit From Down Under

Cilia Carden is a vegan woman who lives outside Perth, Australia.  She is suing her neighbors over barbecuing meat claiming the smell of cooking animals is violating her rights of some kind.  Thus far, the lawsuit has gone nowhere, but this could be a sign of things to come.  In London, a restaurant was forced to remove an extractor fan because the smell of bacon in the neighborhood offended Muslims living nearby.  Of course, the smell of cooking bacon probably made their mouths water, but that’s a whole different story.

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Here’s a Real Surprise

Lucien Greaves is some official with the Satanic Temple, a gaggle of Satan worshippers.  He claims that it is a conservative estimate to state that about 50% of the practitioners of Satan worship also belong to the LGBTQ community.  Greaves states:

I think that’s because they feel disowned and disenfranchised from the traditional religious institutions…So, you have a population willing to embrace a religious identification that is boldly willing to speak out to the contrary.

Bold?  Extolling the virtues of degeneracy and perversion are hardly “bold” statements these days.  In fact, speaking out against them can land you in some hot liberal water.  Sadly, it is a known fact that the devil does not provide anyone with lubricants.

Another Ratings Winner for CNN?

Hot off the “success” of their seven-hour climate change town hall featuring ten Democrat hopefuls in 2020, Don Lemon of CNN announced that on October 10th the network will partner with the Human Rights Campaign to hold a town hall on LGBTQA+XYZ@#%&* rights.  Participating candidates will take questions from audience members and a panel of CNN people.  One question unlikely to be asked: “What are your feelings on the fact that at least 50% of devil worshippers are gay?”  CNN also announced that the wearing of ass-chaps was voluntary.

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Speaking of Gay Rights

“It: Chapter 2” opened this past weekend in movie theaters across America.  However, the Stephen King classic has drawn the ire of some within the gay community over the opening scene which involves several youths brutally attacking a gay couple.  They then throw him in the river where the demented clown, Pennywise, kills the young man.  Ignorant of the fact the movie tried to stay close to the novel and that incident in the book is an important part, writers at a gay publication, Pride, are claiming it was unnecessary.  Some are even demanding that movie theaters provide a trigger warning about the scene.

And Finally, An Example of the Tolerance of Gays

Recently, Chick-Fil-A expanded by opening its first outlet in Toronto, Canada.  Because the ownership of Chick-Fil-A is Christian, the gay community, which bolstered its ranks with some animal rights kooks, took to the streets to protest this monstrosity of oppression- a really good chicken sandwich.  However, this group of misfits sadly could not muster enough people to outnumber hungry patrons hoping to participate in some gay oppression proving that age-old adage: hungering for a good chicken sandwich outweighs the kooks every time.

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That’s it for this week.  Join me again next week- same time, same channel.  This week’s episode was brought to you by Maxwell House coffee- “good to the last drop.”

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